Hot Dog

Once there was a man named Alfred Haase, and Alfred's handwriting was such that when he wrote the words "last day" on the calendar, it became "hot dog." As such, today I celebrate my hot dog. Haase means "rabbit" in some language. German, I think.

Mixed feelings. I await the end of today and the beginning of the coming weeks, when perspective will return. I find myself questioning the decisions I have made, because the feelings associated with my circumstances are changing (which is to be expected at the end of anything good and meaningful). But, having made the decision firmly and over a very long period of time, I stick by my guns. Hell or high water, this is my new path. How exciting.

If you have a weblog listed on the side over there, you'd better be updating it regularly. I'll be booting idle writers soon. All I'm asking is a few posts a month.

Video games aren't bad. In fact, they can be very good. Most of them involve killing, which is not a good thing, but it isn't real killing, which is a good thing. I have not permanently banned games from my computer. I have placed a moratorium on them for a period of time because I want to get into the habit of doing other things. And sometimes games are downright boring, particularly in the online world, unless you know the person you're playing with/against. So, feel free to keep playing games, within reason. Some games are too coarse and gratuitous to be worthwhile, says I. What think ye, gamers of the web world?

here stands a monument

My computer is now completely free of games.

....urgh...

I apologize for not maintaining this. I have not had time to update. I have been very busy, and increasingly (but still mildly) anxious about my upcoming lack of job. One thing ends and another begins. Work has been busy, as has personal life. Please forgive me. And send me some holiday cheer. Also, thanks for posting on Target.

ps: It's okay to think, "Stay on target!" It's also okay to think, "Attack pattern Delta. Go now!" Also, I think that if Vader had offered me what he offered Luke ("Join me, and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son!"), I think I would have taken him up on it. I mean, c'mon.

Poop on Target

So, I just learned that Target isn't allowing the Salvation Army to have bell ringers outside their stores. And that means the Sal Army will probably not raise the $9 million it raised at Target stores last year. Disappointing. I have personal weekly contact with the Athens Sal Army, and I give them 5 stars. They are smart, caring, hard-working people, and it disappoints me greatly that Target has decided to give them the shaft. I'm not doing any shopping at Target this year as a result, and I encourage you to do the same. Spiffy ad campaigns be damned. Give money to the Salvation Army. I like them.

In other news, here are three places that if you have extra money, I hope you can give to:

Good Works, Inc Athens' own poverty fightin', poor lovin' machine.
International Justice Mission Global combatant against the international sex trade of young girls and other forced-labor slaves in our beautiful modern world.
World Vision International Helping poor communities become self-sustaining and well-fed across the globe.

Until Further Notice...

...the action will be on the comment board down yonder on the last post. Feel free to comment anonymously, if that's what suits you. Comment on anything you wish. And thanks for your patience with all the reading. I hope you'll find the dialogue interesting and insightful.

A survey. For you.

I am wondering what you think of this. How would you respond to this woman's concerns, and to this author's responses? Please keep in mind that both the woman and the author profess to be Christians, which impacts their thinking the same way yours is impacted by certain influences too.

"I'm at my wits' end," the young woman wrote. "I've asked pastors, friends, parents, God, and message boards this question and still haven't received an intelligent answer that I can live with. Why are homosexual acts wrong? I'm a Christian and believe in the Bible, but this part always stumps me."

According to my friend, Dr. J. Budziszewski, author of the excellent new book, ASK ME ANYTHING: PROVOCATIVE ANSWERS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS, disturbing questions like this show that church leaders aren't providing young people with the whole picture about sexuality. They may be faithfully teaching God's rules, but when asked why God made these rules, too often they say, "Take two aspirin, and wait for the questions to go away."

The good news, says Budziszewski, is that we can answer disturbing questions. Where are the answers found? In our creational design.

"People say homosexuality isn't natural," the young woman complained in her letter, "but that can't be true because it's found among animals." Budziszewski answers, "But our nature is how God designed us. What's natural for human beings isn't whatever you can find some animal doing; it's whatever fulfills our design. Men and women were plainly designed for each other -- not men for men, nor women for women." Children can be born in no other way.

"But homosexual acts don't harm anyone," said the young woman. Budziszewski answers, "The idea that homosexual acts don't harm anyone isn't even close to being true; they harm those who perform them at every level. To begin with the most obvious level -- the physical -- how could it not harm a man to suffer physical trauma because body parts are repeatedly forced into bodily openings that were designed for a radically different function?" And the rates of a long, long list of diseases are also much higher among practicing homosexuals, and contrary to popular belief, this is true for lesbians as well as for "gay" men.

At the emotional level, Budziszewski explains, the damage of homosexual acts is just as grave. God designed the male-female pair to balance each other; by contrast, same-sex mating drives them out of balance. If you want an example, think of the anonymous, no-brakes promiscuity of men who have sex with
hundreds, even thousands, of other men.

"And what about spiritual harm?" asks Budziszewski. "In homosexual acts, you're seeking union with someone who is only your own mirror image, so in a way, you're still trapped inside yourself. You haven't experienced the power of marital sexuality to take you beyond the Self; you're rejecting the challenge of union with someone who is really other. In that way, homosexual acts are less like marital intercourse than like masturbation with another body."

That's frank, even startling language, but what's happened to our culture is startling too. When young people confused by the culture ask questions, they need clear, unvarnished answers to set their thinking straight. That's why I recommend this great new book ASK ME ANYTHING: PROVOCATIVE ANSWERS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS.

God's rules for sex are never arbitrary; they are based on how He made us. As Budziszewski rightly says, it's all in the design.

what's happening with my hips?

I posted a few days ago, but apprently it didn't stick. It's a shame, really, because I'm sure it will be more intelligent that this will be.

I am feeling the pinch of having less that 30 days left at my current job, but as of yet not having another job to transition into. If you know of any jobs in the Athens area that pay more than $9/hr, please tell me. I have the capability to do many things.

I just learned that there's a new game called Godzilla: Save the Earth. It looks awesome. It's a shame I do not have a wokring PS2 anymore. Not that I need another distraction.

I like playing music. I like when Kevin has his cello at practice. It makes the songs 2x as good, easily. Grabs at your heart through your ears. Amazing. And we need some way to get a piano of some sort into that practice room too. Maybe it's time to bust out the old Casio ConcertMate. Hey, something is better than nothing, and it's just practice.

How have you been, cherished reader?

Let's all be smart about this, shall we?

I just had a short shot of whiskey. Now my head is lighter. I don't like it when that happens. I should have eaten lunch.

The Thanksgiving holiday was very good to me. I was able to spend very good time with my family, specifically parents and brothers, whom I do not get to see as often as I would like. I taugh both my brothers and my wife how to play SW minis...and all three of them crushed me. Seriously, I lost four times.

But then I beat Kevin on Sunday, which was nice, because Kevin is a brilliant strategist. We win or lose entirely based on dice rolls, which is different from my other losses because...wait a minute! I only lost those games because of poor dice rolls too! Damn! Maybe the answer lies in buying a bigger army...

In other news, the job hunt has begun. I officially applied for my first job a week ago, but haven't heard anything.I will soon be taking the sage advice of Jessi and Keith by trying to network into a job, rather than resume my way into one. No one gets hired locally around here with a resume--it's all who you know and who knows you. Prayers in this area are greatly appreciated, as job hunting is a great stress builder.

With the advent of winter break, the band is supposed to be practicing more. We'll see if that comes to fruition. We'll most likely play our first show, prepared or not, sometime in January or February. Right now we still have the same material, but I have been slowly working on new stuff. We'll be putting together some covers soon, but of what I do not yet know.

Ok. That is all.

SW Redemption

So, I saw the new Episode III trailer last night. It looks really, really good. I am surprised. My faith is being restored. This is the one movie that no one (but Lucas) could screw up. It is the one move that we've waited this whole time for--the first two were just publicity stunts leading up to this grand Darth Vader moment. Bring on May '05. Nerds unite!

ps: was that an army of Wookies I saw?!!

Perspective, perspective, perspective...

This is incredible. It says more than I'm able to say, and all that I'd hope to say. Do yourself a favor and take the time.

Inflamatory Material--read at your own risk!

So, here's a snippet from "Falwell Confidential," which I receive, though I'm not sure how I got signed up. (I like to keep the subscription, just to keep tabs on ol' Jerry.) This is the kind of stuff that distresses me, because it's civil religion--deliberately associating love of Jesus with a specific political agenda. Civil Religion is heresy. We should be political, surely, because we are given that right in this country. But as believers in Jesus' death and resurrection we are first citizens of his Kingdom, then citizens of earthly kingdoms. There's my first cent. My second cent is that Falwell quotes a verse at the bottom of his essay that I believe is popularly misquoted in this country by evangelical and fundamentalist Christians. God was talking to His people Israel, not his people the Americans. At best, God's promise applies to all of his children through Jesus, including we Gentiles. But it doesn't apply to nation-states.

Have fun. And please, post your reaction, if you can slog that far.

From: Jerry Falwell
THE LEFT THREW ITS BEST PUNCH... AND FAILED.
Tuesday’s re-election of President George W. Bush and the election of a number of new conservative lawmakers across the nation astonished liberal newsmen, pundits and handlers who, hours earlier, had believed allegedly rigged exit polls and were confidently whispering that a new mandate was going to sweep the nation.
So what happened? After more than 25 years since I formed the Moral Majority and began mobilizing evangelicals to participate in the political process, I actually realized the fruit of my labors nationwide as Macel and I watched the election returns into the early hours of Wednesday. I could not hold back the tears of joy. Hour by hour, we observed a "slam dunk" as the Church of Jesus Christ made the difference in initiating the return of this nation to moral sanity and the Judeo-Christian ethic.
The so-called political experts had forgotten to count a significant voting bloc, namely the millions of evangelical voters who went to the polls in droves to “vote Christian.” Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Tom Brokaw and Chris Matthews started Tuesday night with the firm belief they were presiding over the demise of social conservatism in America.
I’m not suggesting that we elected a bunch of fire-and-brimstone evangelists to office this week, but Christians collectively determined which candidates most closely held ideals that parallel our own biblically-based moral values and we went to the polls to support those candidates.
I believe evangelical Christians are about 33 percent of the electorate today and are as powerful a voting bloc as there is in this nation. The so-called mainstream media will never give the proper credit for what we accomplished this week, but the fact is that evangelical Christians joined together in spirit at polls across this nation and are the reason a record 115 million persons actually voted. This was the most exciting day politically since the same day in 1980 when we first arose to sweepingly elect President Reagan to the Oval Office.
I saw this coming weeks before the election and tried to hearten believers through my columns by recounting the incredible energy I witnessed among Christians in my many trips across the country. There was a palpable vigor among believers who could hardly wait to charge to the polls on Tuesday. Thousands of pastors were stirring their congregations to distinguish the issues, know the combatants and be geared up to vote.
And boy, were they!
We should all feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness to God for blessing our efforts. We must never forget that people of faith in this country, joined by political and fiscal conservatives, successfully withstood Hollywood, Springsteen, Affleck, Baldwin, the Dixie Chicks (now called the French Hens by some), billionaire George Soros and his ilk, all the 527s, most of the national print and broadcast media, the gays and lesbians, the abortionists, the entire liberal establishment... and about $2 billion of hate-inspired media and campaign expenditures.
The left threw its best punch and George Bush and social conservatism are alive and well. To God be all the glory!

“If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (II Chronicles 7:14).

That verse is more powerful than any exit poll. And it will sustain us against any rising political tide that seeks to counter biblical morality, if we remain true to that verse’s unique guidelines.

Smattering

I'm finding myself deflated after all this election stuff. I didn't honestly think I was that invested in Kerry, but I find myself feeling strangely helpless now. I guess I had a strange hopefulness, but I'm not sure in what. I am reminded that God always knows what's going on...even if his children don't.

I wish that I felt like Bush was truly pro-life, rather than just anti-abortion. I wish his cabinet didn't give me the creeps. I wish that conservative Christians across the country could see the world and could see history, rather than just here and now. Local moral issues are incredibly important, but not to the negligence of equally important global moral issues. Um, like war for example, or an uncounted number of civilian Iraqis as combat collateral, or the global financial oppression instigated, sponsored, and currently endorsed by the US through our loans to poor Third World nations.

Why is it so hard for most Christians (who are supposed to be the witnesses to and bearers of the revealed, relentless love of Jesus) to reconcile meeting, knowing, and loving homosexual people while maintaining that homosexual behavior is morally sinful? I think we do not know what sin is. I think we do not know what mercy is. God, please help us.

What if the solution to the problem of abortion lies not in making the act illegal, but in addressing the issues that influence women to choose abortion in the first place? Which option is filled with love? Which option hurts more and requires more of us personally? Which disallows self-righteous isolationism and condemnation?

Humanism is morally bankrupt and founded on faulty, idealist thinking.

If I could get many people to join the Socialist party with me, I think I would do it. Enough to shape it (whatever it is) into something wholesome. Or maybe the Green party. We need a strong third party in this country. One that bridges the gaps between the folly of the parties we have currently. One that could represent a true pro-life agenda, have a solid moral understanding, and love all people too. One that recognizes capitalism as being the great inequalizer. One that can vilify the juggernaut greed monster on corporate and local levels. One that recognizes that no one can serve both God and money. I know politics are never the eternal answer, but I think I might be about 50% actually into this idea. I wish I had trustworthy people to talk with about it. How about it? Anyone up for some dialogue here?

So tired...

So, I've decided I'm not going to vote. After all this talk about getting out the vote, vote mobbing, rocking the vote, the incessant prerecorded phone messages I keep getting, and the pounds and pounds of mass mailing---I'm just not voting at all. Screw the presidency, screw Ohio Issue 1, screw Athens Issue 2. And whatever local elections there are on the ballot, screw those too. I've had enough. I'm not going to take it anymore. I'm going to crawl back into my American luxury hole and let the world blow by as it has in the past. As long as I get my share, I don't give three craps in a bucket. I'll be safe regardless, because I live in Athens, Ohio. Who's going to blow up Athens, Ohio? I'm tired of being subjected to rants about what makes this guy better than that guy, or how this other guy totally screwed up everything and he's not fit to lead lemmings off a cliff. I'm tired of stories about lawyers in polling places, false accusations, and paranoid political parties. I'm tired of rhetoric and politic and double-speak. I quit.

Just kidding. I'll be voting tomorrow at 8am, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. On all of the issues above. And not for the current administration(s), in most cases. (Man, you fall for that every time!)

This is good medicine.

Rob R wrote a great little diatribe in frustration about some real issues surrounding being a Christian NOT voting for Bush in the coming election. I sympathise and identify with his thoughts almost perfectly, but he put them into such clearer and smarter words that I have the capacity to do. If you call yourself a Christian (no matter who you are voting for), I highly advise reading this. Click here.

Mouthing Off: Conservative Rant vol.1

Twice in the past 24 hours I have had conversations that sparked my defense of conservative Christians. This installment of Mouthing Off isn't directed at either of those people specifically, should they read this. This is a much larger issue for me, something that I hold with deep passion and conviction.

First, I will say that I am not a conservative Christian. Nor am I a liberal Christian. I'm a passionate moderate. My beef with both sides of the camp is that they are arrogant and one-sided (even for talk of open-mindedness or of love the sinner, hate the sin), refusing to see WHO the people are on the other side of their agenda for fear of WHAT they are or what they might represent. We are intolerant in our tolerance and unloving in our love. Our gospels are empty.

Here's why the conservative agenda, which I will describe as wanting to change the condition of our culture through political (rather than personal, moral, individual) means is good. It recognizes that sin is a powerfully destructive force that impacts not only the sinner, but also the sinned-against, sometimes for several degrees of separation, and it is not afraid to stand up and identify what sin is. An example: The sinner molests a young girl, who has her sense of healthy love and sex stripped from her, and then loses her ability growing up to adequately convey these ideas to her own children. In this mindset, the prevention of sinful acts is an act of protection. Neither being a Christian nor being a fan of Barbasol shaving cream prevent the affects that sins have on the lives of humans. It's the way we're built. In turn, sin affects our culture. And our culture affects us. So, when conservatives want to lobby against "progressivism," I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I think it is the only reasonable thing to do, because it provides a check & balance for our own self-gratifying nature, and it (ideally) forces us to examine issues that we otherwise ignore or neglect in favor of personal convenience (like the value of true community, or healthy family relationships, or the effects of multiple sexual partners on a person's capacity for intimacy.)

The main argument against this logic is that by legislating morality, you are not actually causing people to become moral. Only Jesus can do that. Granted. But the point isn't that people are becoming more moral, it's that the innocent are being protected from the immorality of others. Our nation is increasingly turning towards a philosophy that it is okay to be immoral, as long as it doesn't bother anyone else, particularly me. This is the thrust of the sexual revolution--if you say it's okay, then it's okay, just do it behind closed doors. Similar thing with American capitalistic materialism--you can have as much excess and wealth as you please, just don't mention what wage the worker was paid who made it for you.

All this begs the question: what is "morality", and who gets to define it? What are your thoughts on that question? I personally have little trouble identifying and describing the consequences and damage of sin and immorality, even the sins that we really don't like to call sin, like greed, lust, gluttony. The things most of us are guilty of. ("But not as guilty as they are! Just look at them!") Sin has damaged our ability to see sin as sin--in some ways, that is the entire human condition. Can you see ways that is true in your own life?

Again, I'm not a conservative, and I'm not voting for Bush. And I certainly do not think that all, or even most, conservative Christians are on the right track (including and especially the Christian Coalition).To the contrary, I believe most of them have little idea why they believe what they believe, other than the parrot answers they were given by people they foggily trust to lead them. They are prudish and fearful of getting other people's sin on them--too busy trying to keep themselves looking holy. They don't understand the completeness of their fallen condition nor the completeness of Jesus' love, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. They are trapped in a system of fear of failure to live up to their perception of God's mandates to be holy.

But true Christian conservatives are not prudish, they are protectors. They feel the weight of sin and the enormity of its destructive power. They are different from liberal thinking in their ideology: they do not have a mindset that values the wants of an individual, they have a mindset that values an entire culture. I value their place in our culture, next to Christian liberals.

Just for equal time and space, I'd like to rant about the virtues of liberalism, but because I get the sense most of this audience is already mostly there, I'll save it. One of these Mouthing Off's is going to be a rail against Christian conservativism, so you can be on the lookout for that... Post what is on your heart and mind.

Problems with Posters

To all who have posted recently, thanks for taking the time. To all who haven't posted recently, you should post.

To everyone, regardless, here is a brief chastisement. Most of the time, I'll be inviting people to post. Most of my intent with this weblog is to mouth off, but in so doing I want to stimulate interaction and thought and sharing about junk that feels very important, but doesn't seem to get much cultural airplay. We all realize that the 80's were pretty dang good, but that wasn't exactly the purpose of the "Nod to..." post. Likewise, no one has posted about the porn commentary thing, which is something we should be thinking about in some context because it affects every one of our lives, to varying degrees. (I recognize it was lengthy, and for that I'm sorry...I wanted to give an overview of a broad-spectrum issue, to get some discussion rolling. Maybe it didn't work.)

I hope this can be a place of honesty and challenge, or minimally consensus if that's the best we can do. It can be a place of outrage, frustration, and confrontation, as long as we're being reasonably respectful. Feel free to post anonymously, if that's more comfortable. For a refresher on what this weblog's goal is, run a search for "Gandalf" in the search bar up top. Squidzaus' first post ever is at the bottom of that page.

If there are things that I could do be a better provoker, post it. If you have thoughts on some of those other issues, post them. Keep in mind, I ain't mad atcha. But we can do better, yes?

Commentary for Comment

Here's something I read recently. I don't think it's great, but I do think it brings up some interesting cultural points. I wish it wasn't written with a hint of smirk (usually Colson doesn't do that), but c'est la vie. It's by Charles Colson, who heads up Prison Fellowship Ministries. Take the good, take the bad, but think about some aspect of what's being said and leave a comment. Think culturally.

A Little Late to Be Squeamish: Porn in the Mainstream

If you ever doubt that our culture is pre-occupied with sexual gratification, watch some prime-time television -- not the programs necessarily, just the commercials. Every hour, you'll see at least three or four ads for drugs that promise to let you have sex whenever you want it. As one ad says, it's unfettered sexual gratification that makes "our days our own" -- the revenge of Freud and Kinsey.

In this cultural setting, you would expect a book by a woman who embodies unfettered sexual gratification to be celebrated. But oddly you would be wrong.

The book is HOW TO MAKE LOVE LIKE A PORN STAR: A CAUTIONARY TALE by Jenna Jameson (which, I should add, neither I nor my staff have read). According to those who keep track of such things, Jameson is the biggest name in the $10 billion-a-year pornography industry.

Despite subtitling her book A CAUTIONARY TALE, Jameson is not cautious, much less apologetic, when it comes to her sexual escapades. As she writes, "My first love is sex, not acting. I'm not Meryl Streep." She denies that her career choice had anything to do with her, by all accounts, brutal childhood. She grew up without a mother in -- where else? -- Las Vegas and was raped several times. Instead, she depicts herself as the embodiment of feminist ideals: a strong, successful woman in charge of her sexuality.

Critics, however, are not buying it. The NEW YORK TIMES called it "amazing" that "a memoir that once would have won itself a plain brown wrapper can now be found beside books about Henry James." Another critic summed up Jameson as "a woman who has become rich and famous by doing on screen what most people reserve for the privacy of their bedrooms."

These are obviously valid critiques. The problem is that the people making them have no basis for their judgment of Jameson, at least not if logical and philosophical consistency makes any difference. They, like most of our cultural gatekeepers and elites, regard the sexual revolution as a good thing. They see this "revolution" as setting people free from unnecessary moral and biological restraints and allowing them to explore their sexuality more fully.

Well, it's hard to imagine a more perfect representative of these ideals than Jameson and the porn industry. Pornography represents the triumph of these ideals, a world in which sex is beyond moral judgment as long as both parties consent to the activity. And the young women who undergo plastic surgery in an attempt to more closely resemble women like Jameson are simply exercising that greatest of all values, choice.

If the TIMES and other critics are squeamish about all this, it's because they have been trying to have it both ways. They want the freedom promised by the sexual revolution, but then they don't want to deal with the consequences that inevitably flow from it. They resent Jameson for reminding them that their worldview doesn't work.

Only a worldview, you see, that regards sex as something more than a recreational, biological function can enable people to regard themselves and others as something more than means to animal gratification. This is yet another example that any other worldview than the biblical one in the end proves irrational and unlivable. And in this case, even the NEW YORK TIMES knows that.

A nod to conservativism

Some of the best days of my life were spent playing "guns" or "army" with my brothers in the woods around our house in KY. Not much about life in KY was good, but I did have a few very good friends, and I had my brothers, and I had summer. I know there are people who are adamantly against giving their children guns as toys. I don't really know how I feel about that, being a kid who had toy guns. I've never shot a real gun in my life, though I know my dad had a .22 rifle. (Actually, he recently told me the story of how he bought the gun when he himself was a boy, and he rode home with it on his bike in downtown Milwaukee. Things were different then, and I desperately wish that my generation knew more about what life was like for our parents.)

New direction. For those select few of you who can claim to be from my generation, weren't the 80's our greatest moment? Forget GenX and all that cynical woe-is-me garbage. I want my Transformers lunchbox back. I want to haggle someone out of their twinkies. I want scratch-n-sniff stickers as rewards for good homework, and I want my sticker album to keep my collection and to make trades. I want Saturday mornings that are filled with cartoons--GOOD cartoons, mind you--and I want Little Caesar's to have crazy pizza deals.

If they tell you that our world is improving, do not believe them. What has caused the breakdown in our culture's moral fabric (for lack of a better term)? Why have we become so...stupid, as to say that truth cannot be determined, or that one person's view is not necessarily better than another's, as if we've lost the ability to think critically? In our rush for progress, let's not forget the way things were, and what made them good. We've all been drilled on what made them bad. Not that things aren't good now, because they are. I hope some kid will be cooing about Pokemon 15 years from now. I just wish that our progressivism nodded to conservativism sometimes, recognizing the good that we came from. History doesn't always have to be bitter.

These did not post in the right order... 

And this. So, who's with me?  

Here is a place in WY that I went 4 months ago. I desperately want to return there, particularly on days like today. 

Chastity Candidly...

...which unintentionally sounds somewhat like a porn star name, which, as it turns out, is what this post is going to marginally be about.

I despise porn and the SI swimsuit thingy. Let me tell you why. I tire of the struggle of hating everything that is in them and what they (mis)represent, yet finding myself drawn to the pages anyway. And it's not all hormonal as many tend to believe, whether to justify their own behavior or to dissect the behaviors of others.

Here's the deal: we get Sports Illustrated here at the shelter sometimes. People donate old copies or occasionally we've received a subscription for a few months. It's not even a mag I enjoy, beyond the pictures--I'm not much of a jock or sports freak. Also, on the few occasions when we've received the swimsuit copy, it's pretty easy to pitch it because it's so entirely and obviously inappropriate for innumerable reasons. However, as I was cleaning up the living room here today, I discovered a copy of the 50th anniversary edition of SI, a huge magazine with loads of coverage on all things sports, a nifty spoof cover of the Sistene Chapel...and a few pages of fluffy swimsuit stuff. Once I recognized what was in it, I pitched the whole mag. Being the only one here, here's where the dilemma begins.

Why in the sam hell can't I just leave it where it is? Why does the knowledge of its presence create such a nagging to pull it out of the trash and just check out the pictures? (The trick is, I've never seen a swimsuit issue, so my curiosity tries to get the better of me--for investigative purposes, of course.) And it's such a small and harmless thing anyway, right? I mean, we're not talking soft-core or anything here, or are we?

I ended up removing it from the office trash and , without opening it [pats himself on the back], tossed it into the kitchen trash, which is far yuckier and less retrievable. If you don't understand why this was a bigger deal than seeing real live topless (French) folk on St. Maarten, ask me. Or ask almost any woman. Post away, all comments are welcome.

Girls want a boyfriend with skills

Here is a list of my skills. I already have a girlfriend. She is my wife.

drawing
strategy board gaming
guitaring
recruiting Greg Booth for a band
numchucking
watching Kevin's back
opining
answering the telephone
talking with people

I'm not sure if that is a complete list. It is now time to eat dinner. You should read the post from yesterday--I don't think many other people did.

Mouthing Off

Here is a word to American Christians. This is not directed to anyone in particular, but to a cultural phenomenon.

Please remember that there is absolutely NO implicit reationship between being a Christian and being an American. America is NOT a Christian nation, and it never has been. The founding fathers were not Christians, they were Deists. God has done amazing things in this country, in terms of revival and freedom, but that does not make us any more Christian than France.

I find myself being increasingly frustrated by the association of Christianity with America or being American. This happens unintentionally across the globe, but also intentionally as a means of bolstering political support. It should not happen regardless.

Why do we forget (or are convinced) so easily that being American means being Christian? Or more recently, that being Christian means being Republican? Why is it so hard to see that salvation will never come through the political process--not if every member of Congress and the President were all born-again, bonifide believers. Why is it that if you walk into almost ANY church in this country, you will find both the Christian flag AND the American flag up front near the podium or altar? That doesn't happen in other countries--do we realize that?

Folks, this just shouldn't be. Our citizenship is in heaven first. We belong to the Kingdom of God, not to any country on earth. Nationalism and American pride have no place in our lives. And don't get me wrong--I'm not in favor of separation of church and state, at least not the way the current cultural trends have been pushing (from both sides). I think believers should be (and in fact are called to be) active in their communities and in the land in which they live. Even the simple act of voting can be an act of worship no matter who who vote for, as long as you do it wisely and prayerfully making the best decision you can make. But we need to recognize that we are aliens and strangers in this land, on this whole planet, called to live our lives in different ways, with different purposes.

As children of the living God, I hope we can be wiser than this. I hope we can see through the smoke, and recognize that the devil has been using even some of us for his own purposes--that we are being deceived, and that the deception has soaked into our culture to such a degree that we don't even think of it anymore. Sin has corrupted our ability to see sin as sin.

This was just a rant, and not very organized. Feel free to comment. Maybe next time I'll rant about how Christians have been wooed into the trap of materialism. (Myself included.) I'm left wondering why I still try to serve both God and Money/Culture/the Jones', when Jesus said that is impossible.

Urg.

Today I realized I have less than 3 months before I am unemployed. I am not scared. But I am interested to see where this all ends up. My 5 year plan is a little fuzzy these days.

I have been too distracted as of late with my own life to think about the affairs of the world. There is loads happening. But I don't know where I stand on lots of it. I try to stay up on the election nonsense, but that's about as far as I can go these days. Makes me sad, because I feel like I'm missing important things.

Band news: we have formal practice times now. Hey, that's a bloody milestone, so don't make fun. And it cost us a member, most likely. The upside is that Greg and I played some last week, and it was beootiful. I am excited about the future of this thing.

More news: Anybody want to come to a LAN party on Friday, Oct 22? It would be a PC-only ordeal (sorry Macies), and I think we would play Homeworld, Aliens Vs. Predator, and/or Medal of Honor. The idea is to play games that people can run even if their machine is several years old. Like mine. All are welcome. Let me know if you're interested, I'm trying to guage interest.

Silver bells...

We get some seriously strange donations here at the homeless shelter sometimes. Once, someone gave us 3/4 case of Miller High Life. Occasionally we get odd assortments of clothing. Recently, we got a stainless steel counter bell--the type a small shop might have to alert the cashier that a customer was ready for checkout.

I have adopted said bell, placing it within arms reach on my desk (which is also Bradley's desk). Currently, we have no other need for it here, and it would be a shame to see it head to the thrift store. It is amazing to me how such a small bell can be so amazing to me. I like the shape and feel of the little button. The striker is well balanced and has a good weight. It has a clear, consistent ring--the kind that serves its purpose, really. Though I suppose it could be argued that it has no purpose here.

My experience so far is similar to pencil-tapping: it's pleasant, even pacifying, to the person tapping it, but quite obnoxious to everyone else within earshot. I could apologize, but that would suggest I will stop ringing the bell, which I won't.

Suggested Reading

I resonate with the thoughts and feelings expressed here. Chris is a cool guy with wise thoughts and strong, righteous feelings. He is a guy to trust with a great many things. He would not like me saying so.

Nerd Fest!

For those of you wanting to adequately educate yourselves for the purposes of cameraderie or mockery, click here.

Yes, I am bragging. (And also listing for possible trades, Rob? Jon?) Kevin got some rad ones too. Here's my complete list of minis, after receiving my purchse from my cousin last night:

REBELS
C-3PO
Elite Hoth Trooper
Elite Rebel Trooper x2
Hoth Trooper x2
Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight
Luke Skywalker, Rebel
Princess Leia, Captive
R2-D2
Rebel Commando
Rebel Officer
Rebel Pilot x3
Rebel Trooper x4

EMPIRE
Darth Vader, Dark Jedi
General Veers
Heavy Stormtrooper
Imperial Officer x2
Royal Guard
Scout Trooper
Snow Trooper x5
Storm Trooper x3

FRINGE
Bespin Guard x2
Duros Mercenary x2
Ewok x4
Gamorrean Guard x2
Ithorian Scout x2
Jawa
Mon Calamari Mercenary x2
Greedo
Tusken Raider x2
Twi-lek Scoundrel x2

Marauding bands of rubber

I'm finding that keeping a weblog is becoming boring. Mainly, this is a result of me myself being personally boring. I have no anecdotes to relay, no comical characters to belittle, and quite often nothing interesting to say at all.

Drop the debt! (The US's and the global.)

Was that interesting? Let's hope so.

Nutrition

Today for lunch I ate 3 pieces of re-baked LJS catfish, 1 piece of re-baked LJS regular fish, and a whole can of Bush's Homestyle Beans.

This should have been me...

This is amazing. To think, this could have been me, just two weekenda ago... I can't believe I missed out on such a glorious opportunity.

Also, please welcome Rob Rennich to the board over there on the left. He's taken his first steps into a much larger world.

PS: as might be expected, the words formed from the names in the links have nothing to do with whom they are conjoined and do not represent them in any intentional way.

Mouthing Off

I was going to say that Napoleon Dynamite was one of my top five favorite movies of all time. Seriously. That was when I believed that it was a small, indie film that was made by folks who actually lived a similar life and were making a movie to comemorate the truths of being a nerd/dork/dweeb. I had friends like that. I was like that.

See, I missed the first few minutes of the movie. Like when it rolls across that it's an MTV movie, which a friend told me later.

Now I am very confused because I want to believe that it is still pure and good, but I have an itch in my mind telling me that it is corrupt corporate-pop-fluff being directly targeted at me by The Man himself. Whereas before I believed it was an honestly quirky movie, thereby allowing me to forgive and appreciate its faults, I now have a gnawing suspicion that its Wes Anderson-ness is a deliberate marketing ploy.

What am I to do? Someone help me. Inform me. Brooke, if anyone knows the truth, you do. Do I pummel or do I embrace?

I know, I know, "Stop worrying."
"Just let it go."
"It's only a movie."
I'm a nerd--it doesn't work that way.

There's always the hope that The Man funded the movie, but kept its grubbers off of it. I've heard that sometimes that almost rarely happens on infrequent occasions.

PS (and a total aside): Why is The Man still masculine? Shouldn't there be some kind of PC lawsuit or something to change it to The Woman every other reference? Or to some androgenous term, like The Person?

Sing a new song

I propose a new verse to an old, old song:

Where have all the good jobs gone?
Long time passing.
Where have all the good jobs gone?
Gone to China, every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

This is in memory of all the good jobs our fathers, uncles, and friends (and moms and aunts) have lost over the past 4 years. Why in the blue bloody blazes are there so many middle-aged men getting laid off? Feel free to post a story as a comment. Here are three quick ones.

My dad was laid off when his company was bought out three years ago. He and my mom moved to TN as a result, so now my whole family live 8 hours away.
There's a college educated 50 year old man at the shelter currently who has beenlaid off from several jobs recently, as each one of the small companies he does engineering for has closed it's doors.
Nevermind, I'll let Kevin tell his own story.

Dreaming in FPS

For the past several nights, I have been dreaming in SW miniatures. This happens every now and again, usually when I play too much of a brand new computer game. Once, I had dreams in Final Fantasy format. These are otherwise normal dreams, except that everyone in them is a plastic miniature, or perhaps has an action bar or dialogue box above their head. Yeah, that was the weirdest--when no one talked audibly because it was all in Final Fantasy dialogue boxes. It's bad because it happens even when I'm just half awake, like when I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, but I can't stop thinking about people as SW minis. This too shall pass...in about 2 more days.

I have also been dreaming in Coheed and Cambria. I borrowed their black (2nd?) album from Ben, and have been listening to it far too much, it would seem. I don't think I've ever dreamt about an album before. Not about it's content, just the songs running through my head. I barely can understand 50 words on the whole disk. It's good, but I've switched back to Nick Drake, for safety reasons.

Bradley Shadrix is being job trained this week. It's good to have a compatriot again.

I will be purchasing more minis from my cousin soon. That means I'll have what I'd consider a "complete" set: enough for me to supply a friend or two with enough pieces for us to play a game, without them having to supply their own.

SW Minis

Nerds, unite! My cousin, the amazing comic shop owner/operator, sent me the starter and a booster for the SW (Star Wars, for you non-nerds) miniatures game that came out not too long ago. I've never played one of these games before, though I've always been impressed with the design of the pieces. I've never had the money (and therefore the interest) necessary to buy a big enough army to win. And it feels fundamentally wrong that the richest kids win these things because they can afford the most and better pieces. Anyway, Kevin and I played last night, and it is fun. The game design torques me off because it is (surprise!) designed to make you buy the booster packs (at ridiculous prices for little, rigid, plastic-molded people). However, the game play is fun enough that it's worth it. I'll be putting in an order for more booster packs soon...as will Kevin. My reasoning is that if I have enough pieces to create variety in gameplay, I really don't need to have all 60 of them. After losing handily last night, I've determined that I do need Boba Fett, or at least a Wampa.

Darth Vader, Dark Jedi, kicked my ass all over the Death Star.

To Seth--
You are astute. ("What's a 'stute'?") I ran CC in HS. My PR was 17 min something. I think on the short end of 17. (That was 9 freaking years ago.) I was one of those cursed late-bloomers, doomed to saying things like, "If only I'd had one more year, I would have kicked ass...and been at the physical maturity and competitiveness of my peers." Alas, we Filipiaks have small (but ninja-like) genes.

Holy Mexicans

Today we had an extended staff meeting because we had four Mexican men from the United Methodist Church's Mexican conferences visit with us. They are in Ohio for the next several days for a larger meeting/conference and were sent to visit with us as part of their itinerary. Good Works isn't UMC affiliated, but we certainly do work with lots of UMC affiliated churches, in addition to all the other churches and community groups. It was cool to have these guys visit for a few hours. We had a spontaneous prayer time, where first they prayed for each of us (in Spanish), then we prayed for them. It was a good time, and greatly appreciated. I'm always surprised how random people can know what kind of prayer I need at that moment. It always amazes me how encouraging, inspiring, and poignant things like that can be. I guess that's the skeptic in me. This sort of thing happens regularly around here, and I will miss it when I am gone.

I smell something burning. Must be almost dinner time...

A new personal record!!!

So, Sarah and I ran in that race on Saturday, and, even though I haven't ran a race since just after high school, I still managed to beat out a new PR--16 min, 47 sec!!! Sarah was dragging her feet, but still came in around 22 minutes. Pretty good, for a first timer.

Oh yeah, I forgot: I'm lying. We didn't run. In the event that you didn't know, we got tons of rain, rain, rain on Friday. That washed the race out. On top of that, Sarah hasn't been getting enough sleep because of the pup. The deal was that I was only running if she was soooooo...no race. I'm surprised they didn't cancel it. Then again maybe they did, since we weren't there to find out.

My cousin sent me the new Star Wars miniatures game. Wow, does it seem cool. Yes, nerdy. But also strategic and fun. And fraking addicting. I am beginning to understand the attraction of "Gotta catch 'em all!--Pokemon" They're just stupid plastic figures that don't even move, but I still find myself wanting to assemble a (costly) death squad of storm troopers with a "Sith Lord" Vader as their commander. Some of them look really cool, some look stupid. Oh well.

In other news, frustrations abound in band-land, as schedules fail to cooperate. I don't know how the rock and roll is going to shape up. I'm feeling a tad deflated because this dang town just can't cough up the committment that I'd hoped (in vain) for. No offense to the gents, by any means--we'll still rock. It will just take longer, and might not be super caliber. Luckily, we're all genius master musicians.

Neptune Comics

This is the website of the comic shop that my cousin recently opened in Waukesha, WI. My cousin is rad, and has been a comic nerd for ages. He was like an older brother to me growing up...except I didn't see him all that often. I have vivid memories of rummaging through his large collection of Star Wars figures and comic books as a kid. I'm sure he wanted to kill me, because most of the time he wasn't home when I found them...under his bed or tucked in a box in the closet. Mind you, I was about 8, and he was 14 or so. Anyway, check out his shop and business. He's a mild-mannered pharmaceutical salesman by day, and he takes over running the comic shop (from his wife) at night. Sounds like a great, non-creepy place.

The headache

Today I woke up with my headacher precursor--a litle green dot in the middle of my field of vision, similar to what happens when you look at the sun. Then, it spreads to my peripheral vision. That's the time to take pills, pills, pills, before it starts hurting. Today, I was able to stave it off for awhile, but when I laid down for about an hour or so, it came back. Right before I was supposed to be at work. Usually, resting is the only thing that kills it, but I guess today I rested just long enough for the pills to wear off but not long enough for my body to reset. So, here I sit at work, with my vision screwy. Thankfully, the pain has subsided, mostly. Do you have any idea what this is? It happens about 2-3 times a year for me, and almost always the same, except they usually happen at night. I've been told migranes and I've been told sinus headaches. I don't know much about either.

Do Over

I'm a bit more lucid now. And sentimental.

I like living. I like life. I like being with people, and having those privileged moments of deep honesty. I like when the facade comes off, when we drop our plastic defenses and admit who we are. I like when people really, really want to be who they are, nerd-style, and learn how to stop caring what others think. In appropriate, non-attention getting ways. I like finding those blessed few people who let you be who you wish you were, if you weren't too afraid you'd be called a nerd. In some sick way, I like not knowing what's coming next in life. I like that God is too big for me to know completely, but simple enough for me to walk and talk with every day. I like that He wants me to walk and talk with Him every day, and that He lets me swear sometimes. I like dignity, honor, compassion, faithfulness, honesty, courage--deep things that don't come out often, but make us who we are...or who we should be.

What three words describe the core of who you are? Good words, not bad ones. They can be the words that you hope describe your core. I hope mine are integrity, truth, courage. I think.

Ever wonder why people can't just be who they want to be? Or why some people wear who they think they are like a t-shirt slogan, even if they're the only ones who believe it? I don't have much tolerance for that, unless they're trapped by lack of confidence into feeling foolish. Culture and scared people do that sometimes, to each other.

Ramblin on the open plains...

Nothing to say, but something should be said. Too much to say, so it all gets jumbled.

I am very tired. Coffee is making it worse.

I am tired of the Vote War. So many people so angrily, vigorously, and adamantly dedicated to the idea that the US, and maybe the rest of the known world, will go to Hell in a Handbasket (does anyone know where that is, exactly?) if we don't elect their candidate. One will tank the economy. ("Sure getting laid off was tough, but now I have my new job without benefits at the new Wal-Mart, and use foodstamps to help soften my budget.") The other will tank our moral fiber. (Are you getting enough moral fiber in your diet?) Why can't we have a multi-party system? Other real countries have them, and they seem to get along fine even with occasional fascist or communist candidates. When you have 20 parties, who cares if some are more or less wacky? It makes me sad that we only have two, and that both of them are wacky. It also makes me sad that Ralph Nader is wacky. He has such good ideas...mostly. If only he could pass as clinically sane...

Ack. I have nothing intelligent to say.

I have been reading the first issues of X-Men ever. They are hokey, but great.

I'm voting Kerry/Edwards. Wacky or not, at least Kim Jong-Il won't be able to sell a nuke to Osama...if he hasn't already. And maybe we'll stop huffing gasoline. And maybe we'll get our jobs back. And maybe...

Pupdate (get it?)

Even busier today that Thursday. But at least the 'net is working again.

One pup left. The natural born one. She seems to be doing much better. She always has been the strongest. Still has another week before it's "out of the woods," but things seem to be improving. It has been nice to have the pup in the house, and stress levels (Sarah's, Ellen's, mine) are marginally decreasing.

So many thoughts and feelings. So little time. C'est la vie, mais non?

May we all RIP

My apologies, all, for not posting more regularly lately. Things have been very, very busy both at work and at home.

Here at work, I'm supposed to be doing the work of two people. We hired somebody, but he doesn't start for another week. All this wouldn't be a problem if the house was less full. I'm finding I don't have enough time to squeeze in all the meetings with residents I'm supposed to be having. But, I am hanging on, and have had some of my best days at work in a long time, for reasons that are unclear to me.

At home, one of our dogs had puppies on Sunday night. It has been horrible and tragic. Seven pups were stillborn, one born naturally, and three born Caesarian. Two of the C-sectioned pups have died in the past two days. Sarah has much of herself (and Ellen does too) wrapped in these pups, and it has been very hard on her/them/us. Lots of no sleep and worry for everyone.

From last post, I actually both baked lemon bars and played Axis & Allies by myself. And I'll probably get to do the same this weekend, since I'm on call again and we still have an elderly man here for whom we'll (I'll) need to keep the shelter open all day. There aren't enough volunteers to cover all the shifts. Anyone care to join me? (I do plan on inviting other residents to play this time, since there are guys who are interested, but didn't know I was going to be here.

Trading Spaces

You may have noticed a few changes here at Squidzaus. No, none of them are for the better, really. And yes, I made them all myself. See, here I sit, at work, on Saturday. There's only one fellow here, and he's sleeping right now. Not me--a fellow other than myself. I haven't quite sunk to that. Although I have sunk to discovering where the colors are in my template. I then set out to discover what colors I might change the original colors. I don't know how to get shades of colors, but I like the glorious 256 look anyway. I'll change it back, I think, when I get the time again. Which, coincidentally, just might be tomorrow afternoon, since I'm keeping the shelter open again then, which means I, on-call staff, get to be here.

Or maybe I'll find some other, newer ways to irreparably make this difficult to read.

I was toying with the ideas of baking lemon bars or playing Axis & Allies Europe by myself. (I brought it to play with people I thought were going to be here.) I still have 2.5 hours to kill. Suggestions?

Stubborn as a Yankee jackass in January

Well, if no one else is going to post anymore, then neither am I. Eight can play at this game.

On a 'bout-time note: has anyone else noticed "Critters" poking it's too-tiny head into the corners of the Athens Insider?

Barph snoggle zous.

Damn, I wish I had something funny to say. I feel like all I ever do is drag the little weblog ring into seriousness. I really don't mean to. I guess I'm only funny if I can make a face or sing a song.

How about some band news? We had our first "practice" this past Wednesday. Interpretation: Greg brought over his drums and hit them while I ran through the songs and Kevin, not having his cello, hummed some celloish bits. This is going to be good, I can just feel it. And to top it all off, superstar guitarist from The Substitutes, Aaron Schlagbaum, is going to be playing with us too. I think we're finally an outfit. I don't really plan on being any good for at least three months (if we can practice regularly those three months), cuz it's going to take time to get used to each other and to develop unified vision.

Oh, what's this? No Critters on Sarah's site for a week? No, that would actually be in absentia for an entire month. What's the point in being a genius if you don't share it with the rest of the world? Harumph.

A moment of silence for the dearly departed at ye old Good Works: Craig, Dave, Kathryn, Kelly, Liz, Geoff. R.I.P., and may God have mercy on your souls. Ye shall be missed.

Oh my dreams are never quite as it seems...

I love dreams like this one right here. I wish I had dreams like that every night. And I'll agree that it sucks when you don't get to use the guns in your dreams. Man, that happens to me all the time--waking up just when the story is getting really good. Last night/this morning I was trying to park a shot-up car into a parking space while people were after me. I don't know why the space was so important, more important than life. Maybe it's some residual fear since the students are starting back next week and that means this town will be overrun again. Back to 20 minutes of trolling uptown for parking.

BTW, Monsterbear is Chris Cantoni.

[This posting was sponsored by Tredegar Industries & the letter 4]

Everlasting Gobstoppers

I just found some in my desk, and I don't remember how they got there. Almost a whole box of them, in fact, in a drawer I haven't opened for months and months. At least 6 months, I'd warrant. I chomped up the rest of them feverishly while I typed that last post.

Willy Wonka makes good candy. They made better candy before they were bought by Nestle. Here's another good candy: candy raisins. My grandparents used to buy them for us (I don't know where they'd get them) when we were kids. They taste nothing like raisins, and are a precursor to gummy candy, I'd guess. Similar to stale swedish fish (which we all know is the only way to properly eat swedish fish. Chewy on the outside, gooey in the middle). Hmm, it seems this post has become about old, stale candies. Odd.

Update to Yesterday

You want lighter fare? Eat a salad. I'm kidding. But I do get the privilege of the last word here, since it's my 'aus. : )

The two questions posed by Kevin are the most popular predicaments posed by pro-choice advocates. And they are almost completely irrelevant to the larger issue. Advocates purposefully throw those questions out to the public to distract and confuse our moral compasses. The reason why I say they are not relevant to the larger issue is because those situations happen so incredibly infrequently that they have little bearing on society at large. But no one ever mentions that, because it makes us seem compassionless and cruel.

It's artificial compassion--twisting a genuine concern over genuine dilemma into generalized compassion for a broader group of people. It's a similar argument to legalizing marijuana so that people can use it for genuine medical reasons, when in reality a very small number of people need it for medical reasons, and most people want to use it recreationally. Advocates for abortion use those situations the way the nightly news has made us afraid to walk city streets at night for fear of being shot, or that Jaws (with the help of the nightly news, coincidentally) has made us afraid to go into the water for fear of being eaten. It just doesn't happen like that--not nearly as often as we're led to believe. Not that it never happens, but if those scenarios were the real issue, then we'd be legislating (or counter-legislating) for those issues, not for abortion rights as a whole. It's not the content that concerns me. It's the motivation and intention.

Issue 2. I believe that morality can be legislated. That is, afterall, the sole purpose of legislation: to determine what behaviors we consider immoral and moral, and to determine consequences for performing those immoral behaviors. Heck, even God established His definition of morality by codifying it. I will agree, however, that you can't force anyone to behave morally, which I think is what Sarah was getting at. Which means that legislation is not the total answer to the problem (think, "Prohibition"), which brings us back to the questions of sin and what causes change in a person. I'm pissed because we get so pissed over the wrong issues, pretending to talk about things when we mean something else.

Mouthing Off

Mouthing Off will become a weekly installment here at Squidzaus. Content will include whatever I include, and sometimes (as is the case today) that might mean some harsh language. Be advised.

Today I was listening to NPR on my way to work. Terry Gross was doing an interview with the President of Planned Parenthood, Gloria Feldt. She just wrote a book called The War on Choice: The Right-Wing Attack on Women's Rights and How to Fight Back. You can check out more about (or even listen to) the particular episode here.

I didn't get to hear the first part of the interview, with the senator, but the second part, with Ms. Feldt, really got me going. I am always baffled by how completely and committedly self-centered people can become. No offense to Ms. Feldt--she was just giving voice to an increasingly popular mindset. I don't know why I'm always surprised that I'm always surprised. Our American culture is becoming so saturated in the philosophy of Individualism that you'd think I'd catch on.

To start with, abortion rights is not something in which I am thoroughly versed. Meaning, I generally choose to abstain from debate or even discussion because this issue is so incredibly devisive. People get really mad, vreally fast. I know what I think, and it is well-thought out, but I will not shout it from the hilltops because (good lord!) it's only moderate, and not adamantly one-sided. And I desperately want to avoid a pep-talk or lecture.

To get to the point, the interview made me disappointed with the whole discussion. It became obvious to me that Ms. Feldt was not as concerned with "women's rights"--which I would identify as the rights of women compared to men or any other US citizen--as much as she was concerned with the rights of individuals to do as they choose without consequence or accountability. She was voicing an increasingly popular opinion that individuals (though she framed this in terms of women) should be allowed to do whatever they want with minimal personal responsibility. Maybe she thinks that "women's rights" means that women should be granted the same sense of sexual irresponsibility that men have assumed since the history of the earth.

No, my mind is changed. I am one-sided. Only I'm like an Ent: I am not on any side because no one is on my side. For me the most concerning thing about the debate is that no one is talking about the rampant individuality and disdain for natural consequence in the whole affair, whether it concerns women or men. After all, it ain't just the woman who made that abortion (or single parent or foster child or adoption) possible. Sometimes, when you have sex, you make a baby. Let's all remember--just in case we are distracted by the flurry of the continued sexual revolution for the individual--that baby's are made by people having sex. Whether you're a creationist or evolutionist, you have to agree that the drive is present for the purpose of reproduction of the species.

If there's a moral issue in all this, it is that we want to strip the consequence from the action. But let's ignore the separate debate about the morality of it. What about the responsibility of it? If you are going to play adult games, you have to be willing to accept adult consequences. And sometimes that means parenthood, even when it might be ill-timed, inconvenient, or unwanted.

Instead of bandying about poverty-stricken women and teens who don't have proper financial, social, or educational resources to raise and care for a child, maybe we should be getting just as pissed off that there are poverty-stricken women in this country to begin with. Or that there are men who get them pregnant, then walk away when the walking's good.

Instead of ranting about the corporate woman who is held back by the stigma and reality of pregnancy, she carrying the burden of it alone, maybe we should be questioning whether climbing the corporate solitary ladder to the negligence of family and friends and meaningful relationship is something anyone should be doing.

Why the flying hell are we looking for more ways to NOT care about each other, NOT be responsible for each other, NOT support each other? I'm sick of sugar-coating all this PC bullshit. This could have been an essay. The purpose of this weblog is dialogue. Please, post your heart out on the comment board.

[lighter fare is coming tomorrow, I promise]

Getting (surprisingly) personal...

Yesterday, I wrote:
I do not have faith or hope in the power of programs to change a person's life. Programs only work if people are already self-motivated to change, and nary but a few have the capacity for that sort of bootstrap pulling. Real change only seems to come through loving, safe, long-term relationships. People, not programs, change people.

That prompted some good comments, which are prompting this post.

Change. It is something that perplexes me. It feels like the substance of life--moving from one place and understanding to increasingly better and wiser places and understandings. Humans have a choice: we can coast through life unaware (perhaps distracted by comfort, survival, or selfishness) or we can be conscious of the limited time we have to be alive, and aware of the people and world around us. Which is the better response often depends on who you're asking.

I agree that love is what changes people, and the twisting of love. The most severe damage is caused by people manipulating love for their self-interests--emotional, mental, social, sexual. Bad love turns people into things they would not have otherwise become, and offers them little choice in the becoming. The only hope for healing comes from good love, given freely and without condition. It's what we were built to need, but so infrequently receive from other needy humans.

Enter God, who had his own son's blood paid out to cover the cost of all humanity's evil. He offers us unconditional love--genuinely pure forgiveness and acceptance--if we believe that He is true and risen from the dead, and if we live like we believe it. This is the love that conquers death and can repair all damages. I sincerely and deeply believe this, and yearn for it. The bible says it's true, the bible is incredibly historically viable, and I've seen it happen in many people's lives, from completely different walks of life. Other faiths can't make the same claims. There's no way I can deny it.

My difficulty comes in my own struggle for change. In my head, I know that God cannot love me any more or less than He does, that I cannot earn His love, and that His love for me will not change, ever. But in my heart, why do I not feel or understand God's love for me the way I can feel another human's love for me? I see that other people have that peace. Why can I not escape sin, selfishness, and evil in my own life? Romans 7 answers that sufficiently, except when crossed with the theme of John 14:23. If this is so important to me, why is it so difficult for me to be disciplined (in prayer and study) as I pursue truth?

How can I find peace in never feeling good enough for God (which I never should), yet accepting that He loves me unconditionally? How can I change to the point that I am genuinely more concerned for someone--anyone--than I am for my own self? Unselfish, unconditional love has been given to me. But I cannot feel it, and I don't know how to respond to it. How can I change to the point that I live what I know?

DTP

Desk Top Puddling. It's close to occuring right here at this very desk. (Mmm, ahh, I could just put my head down for a little nap, just a little rest...) Why I am so tired, I do not know. I suppose it has to do with my lack of work to do. Brain has no stimulation. Refusal to create busywork. Another cup of coffee at this point will be my undoing.

Yesterday I got to participate in a focus group comprised of 11 Executive Directors (or close to it) of social service agencies from Athens and surrounding countie,s one mid-level person from the local DV shelter...and me. This is the perk of being the Acting Dir of Caregiving (techinically I am my own boss right now) and having the Exec Dir away for a training seminar for the week. It was a little awkward, being the obviously youngster in the group (and also the only one in jeans and sneakers--hey! At least I remembered to shave!), but it was also enjoyable. I like to watch bigwigs in their element, particularly when there's a collection of them in a peer setting. So many personalities, so many agendas. And almost all of them are good agendas, and very thoughtful, and desiring to be helpful. And yet seemingly so removed from the front-lines of what their agencies do or the people they serve. But, we did good work yesterday, brainstorming trouble spots in the local Appalachian Ohio culture and informing a local grantor of those areas. So, maybe some new money and new ideas will sprout here in the coming years.

I do not have faith or hope in the power of programs to change a person's life. Programs only work if people are already self-motivated to change, and nary but a few have the capacity for that sort of bootstrap pulling. Real change only seems to come through loving, safe, long-term relationships. People, not programs, change people.

Time for another cup of coffee.

My Favorite Mantis

Last night I found a praying mantis. I've never seen a full-grown mantis before. A few years ago I found a few babies (1") that hatched in a bush near my workplace. They were different colors, and each one amazing. They were exactly like adult ones, only teeny. The one last night was 5-6" long and orange with black eyes and light green wings. It wasn't a particularly spectacular aviator. I wanted to take it home for a pet. Supposedly, people in Japan used to (still do?) keep them as pets, somehow. I've seen it on the tv. In terms of bugs, I think they are my favorite. They are the least buggy, to me, and I like the way they dance.

Where is this place?

I have been out-of-sorts for the past few days. I can't explain what's going on, but that's what's going on--I can't explain it. What I mean is that I could explain it if I could explain it. Don't feel excluded, see, because I'm on the outside too.

The original Japanese version of Godzilla: King of the Monsters (1954) is being released in the US for the first time. The original US version (1956) has an American actor (Raymond Burr) in scenes, and has a different ending. I learned recently that they shot all of Burr's scenes in LA in 24 hours, with stand-ins for the original Japanese actors, then they just cut a different version of the movie for American audiences. I really like the Raymond Burr version, but I am very excited to see the original release. Godzilla movies have a bad rap, but most of them are actually quite good movies. The first one in particular, if you like old films and/or great sci-fi. I am looking for a benefactor.

"I really don't think you're strong enough..."

There is a trailer court of about 50 trailers near my home. Actually, it makes up a piece of the view from my front window. And it is what I generally look at when I sit on my front porch. It is about 20 yards from my door down to the road, then across the road are my neighbors' houses, and just beyond them over a little creek is the trailer court. I'd say it's about 150 yards total from my front door to the closer trailers. My neighbors have large (avidly well kempt) lawns. For the most part, I like having the trailer court around--things are a little different here in Appalachia, and it's certainly not like the projects or anything.

Here's what I'm talking about: This is my town.
My house is around Lattitude: .3679010 Longitude: 2.143933
You can hold your mouse over the map to see the coordinates change on the side. The trailer court is the light gray rectanglish shape directly to the right of my house. Or, if you prefer, the trailer court should be the largest light gray rectanglish shape directly in the middle of the map. My house is a skinch to the left of it.

Someone at that trailer court seems to have had a certain windfall recently. Today, as I was paying bills in my front room, I was treated to all the sounds of "Cher's Greatest Hits" being blasted from someone's brand new car stereo system over at the trailer court. Do you believe in life after love? Well, do you?

Public apologies

The thing yesterday about running--and, in fact, all the things that I have written about running--was meant to be taken as a joke. I did not mean to bite anyone. I am sorry if it seemed so. Looking back, the cynicism isn't quite as thick as it seemed yesterday when I was typing. My apologies.

Now, for some nerdness. AvP is a good movie. Don't argue with me. I will tell you that it accomplished everything that it was attempting to do. And you will have no response, because you will know that I am right.

I just finished reading the "Helm's Deep" chapter of The Two Towers. I can't wait until I finish the series so I can start again.

I will probably be watching some combination of Aliens, Predator 2, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, or Return of the Jedi over this weekend, on the offhand chance that someone cares to join me. Just give me a ring.

The Office is a great show. My friend Matt recently got them for his b-day, and I've seen 3 episodes so far, of 2 complete seasons (that's all they made). If you thought the awkwardness in "Meet the Parents" made you squirm, try turning that up to 11. And it's crass in the way that only Brits can get away with, which makes it even better, you mankey git wankers.

Return of the King; Running Tongue in Cheek

Hey, everyone! Randy's back!! This guy is saavy and saucy. And thoroughly missed in both the weblogal and local senses. I can only hope that he is moving to Athens after his wedlock is finalized.

This is all I will say about running. If you are jealous of the initiative and dedication with which my wife (not I) have undertaken this activity, then just say as much. Otherwise, resign yourself to being out of shape and lethargic in a quieter fashion. Be advised: your 30's are approaching.

The Breakdown:
But that's the way it goes in human cultures, ain't it? You've got a group of relatively like-minded folk, who all relatively like and dislike, do and don't do the same sorts of things. That's how you gain entry to the group, most often. Then, one person--perhaps the one least expected to do anything out of the prescribed, if unofficial, ordinary--steps out and does something different. Makes a decisive, personal change. Starts a ripple. Unintentionally makes everyone uneasy for disrupting the norm, for calling into brief, quiet question whether the whole group shouldn't be doing that something different too. In defense, they lash out, hissing and rationalizing and calling into question foundations and motives, allegiances and character.

But deep down, they know the truth. And they're upset because they know that they know the truth, but they've been reassured by the like-minded folk and by time that the truth isn't actually the truth. "But how can I actually do and think everything 'true' at once? That's impossible. And who decides what's 'true' anyway?" they say.

And the ripples gently dissipate, and quiet calm returns--in time--to the like-minded folk.

Some things.

There are better ways of accomplishing all these things, but this is the way I have chosen. So let it be written, so let it be done.

1. It is a joy to work with people who are good friends, and it is quite sad when they leave. That said, I am sad to not have Liz as a coworker anymore. Things are not the same for me here. That is to be expected, but is regrettable. This is similar, but far less saddening, to when Jessi moved to Seattle. Liz's departure is less final, as she's staying in town. All this is compounded by the fact that so many friends are leaving this place: Dave, Kelly, Kathryn, Craig. And me, eventually. Talk about your transition. But I do believe that it is for the best--for all of us and for the health of Good Works too. It is odd that all this departure doesn't feel like a death so much as new life all the way around.

2. Greg (or Ben). Send me some contact info (phone/email) for Greg via email secretninjaattack@yahoo.com There are conversations that should take place before formal plans are established. Vision/influences/committments/etc. It is wise to all be on the same page in such matters. All said, I am quite flattered by your combined enthusiasm! I am always surprised by that, for some reason. Merci.

3. I lied. There is no 3.

4. Unless you consider the existence of the lie to be true content, in which case there is a 3 after all, and it is deceptive.

5. I haven't started running. I haven't purchased running shoes. I don't think exercise should be about fat so much as about muscles and health. I will be running in the race, but I haven't decided if I will train for it. I might just see how in/out of shape I am. It's only a 5k, and I used to be good at those in HS.

The rock show and some humble pie

I am greatly fighting the urge to both glorify and degrade myself for the show on Saturday. I played well and sang well. Not great, but really good. I really like being good at this. I feel awkward for saying that, like it's not something that's supposed to be said. Art/entertainment is such a weird mix of ego/humility. A posting on continuums is coming soon. Kevin made my songs much better with his cello playing. So says I.

Kevin and I opened the show with 4 originals and 2 covers, then I finished with one more original. Then, we all freaked out because we couldn't get the keytar (yes, keytar. straight from the 80's) working for Aaron's show. After 10 minutes, it was up and working--none of knew anything about ancient midi controllers--and Aaron's show was moving. He played almost all original stuff. I played Casio keyboard drums, Kevin was on keytar, Geoff played bass, and Aaron did his thang with the guitar, Omnichord, and singing. Good times. It was an odd and sometimes loose show, but what can you expect from 2 practices and unfamiliar instruments? All in all, a bang-up show. Much thanks to all who came out.

Brooke--I admit that I baited you with the JT thing, more than most. But I'm glad you bit. Only now, damn it all, I have to rethink my prejudices against JT. [see "Splain it..." and subsequent comments] I hate it when that happens. Thanks a lot. Truth be told (read: pretentiousness revealed), I don't like his art/entertainment...probably because he's more famouser and a better dancer than me. Pill swallowed. If there was some benign and unweighted way in which I could listen to his album, I would do it. But I seem to have made such a fuss over this. I wish I wasn't such an opinionated moron when it came to music...or most things, for that matter.

ps: I'm a moron because my opinions are held to tightly and sometimes ignorantly, not because they aren't viable. I hope.

Monkey in the Middle

How is it that I have entered my late 20's--when the very last vestiges of youth may still be grasped, and adulthood staved off only a few more years before it officially becomes denial--and I still don't know what I'm doing? Is it just a myth that we should all have some internal calling, some sense of "what to do with my life"? This frustrates me.

Some people seem to "get it." They are going places, have direction. And then there are those of us who aren't sure what we "should" be doing, but know we don't want to be doing what we're currently doing. And what is it that I'm doing, anyway? Chasing fanciful visions of creating music as a career, of influencing culture? Or just griping about all the things I'm not doing.

I am envious of go-getters. They don't ask these questions. They just do stuff. What's the point in being an artist if I can't get off my duff and make art.

I like my wife lots. She lets me talk her ear off about these sorts of things at night when I know she'd rather be sleeping. She has a sucky job that starts at 6am. But with her little free time she's working on doing what she wants to do--dog sheltering and training. I play video games, partially because I enjoy them and partially because they distract from the things I'm scared to do.

How does one become brave? Brave enough to try things that are risky without fretting about it all the time? It always feels like I'm jumping off a bridge when I do stuff like that.

Splain it to me, Lucy.

For reasons that are unclear to me, Justin Timberlake (aka JT) has a reputation for being "genuinely good." I've heard it from a few different sources, and it seems to be the popular opinion. Presumably, the "genuinely" qualifier is to make a distinction between JT and all the other pop stars out there, who must be "genuinely not good," though they are doing basically the same things (singing, dancing, carrying on) in the entertainment realm.

Someone will need a strong argument indeed to pursuade me that JT is any different from Brittney or Christina or even Avril. He still doesn't write his own songs, or style his own hair, or dress himself, or choreograph his own shows, and he has still been groomed since pre-adolescence for pop stardom, so we're hardly talking raw talent. I see no practical difference. If it's just because his music is somehow different in quality than other pop stars, then he's not responsible for the difference--he's a product, just like the rest. In short, if the reason he is "genuinely good" is because he has some artistic credibility, then I beg to differ.

Maybe it's because he's a boy, and can therefore reasonably pass off the image of toughness and sexuality without being mocked or dubbed a hussy. Things girls have never really been allowed to do.

And let's all make a stronger effort to use the word "hussy" more often, hmm?

Self-Promo and a Job Announcement

First off: I'm playing at Donkey Coffee this Saturday at 9pm, if that means anything to anyone who reads this. Aaron will also be playing (he's the headliner), and maybe Troy. It will be rockin'. In a small town coffee shop sort of way. And, if all goes according to plan, the mighty Kevin will be playing some cello with me.

Second. For anyone who didn't already know, I have decided to leave my job at Good Works as of December 31. I have felt for a great long while that something in my life needed to change, because I wasn't able to do the things I felt I was "supposed" to be doing. GW certainly is not the sole cause of those feelings, but it is a contributor. And, knowing myself, the only way to successfully make a significant change in the way I live my life and prioritize my time is...to make a significant change and reprioritize my time. Small scale changes only lead to a quiet trip back to complacency, in my experience.

This is a big deal for me. I've been there 4 years, and it's the only "real" job I've ever had. ("Real" being defined as semi-permanent, longer term. Opposed to seasonal employment or school-time employment.) I do not yet have anything else lined up, nor do I have a strong sense of what I "should" be doing for employment. It's confusing because my plan is not quite as vague as all this...and yet in some ways it very much is. Sarah and I will be staying around the Athens area, so whatever job I find might be a reasonable local commute. If you have tips, hints, or inside connections, feel free to be a friend and drop a line.

Hey clean freaks! (different from neat freaks)

If you are one of those people who brush your teeth more than twice a day and/or wash your hands all the time and/or use that hand sanitizer to avoid a plague and/or repeatedly use disinfectant sprays on doorknobs and countertops and/or create toilet protectors out of toilet paper when there are no actual protectors to use because you can't handle the thought of your buttocks touching the same seat as someone else's buttocks...then this message is for you.

Stop it. Just stop. You are a slave to The Man.

You have been duped by advertising and advertisers and the bleeding paranoid evening news into believing things about germs and contamination that are not true, for the single and sole purpose of creating in you the perceived need for decontamination products. Watch your tv more closely, you'll see it. There's a whole campaign dedicated purely to you: the paranoid germaphobic.

And you also believe things about your own body that aren't true. Did you know that, in fact, you are probably increasing your chances of infection by vigilantly protecting yourself from all those germs? Because your body's immune system doesn't learn how to fight them off, that's why. Consider this: babies who do not have pets in their home stand a much higher chance of being allergic to animals than babies who do have pets in the home. Why? Because even baby immune systems need a work out. And for as much as germs adapt, our bodies also adapt.

Did you know that there are actually good bacteria that live on your skin? That not all germs are bad? That without certain bacteria in your guts, you couldn't digest food properly?

Trust your skin. Trust those white blood cells. The plan is, if we give our systems a good workout now, when we're younger, then we'll have a larger inventory of antibodies for when we are older, and our immune systems don't work as well.

I Shall Make Music!!

The problem with this thing is that I never have anything to say unless I'm prompted by something else. ...and there's nothing else in here...

Ok. So, I'm going to start recording a few of my songs over the next few months. I am rather slow at the process, but I really like the whole messy ordeal of it. And the songs are good ones. And I need something to do. And I've been griping about this for a really long time and need to get of my ass and do something. I think that you will like the songs. They are something different, but familiar. They are a new direction for me, and they stretch my musicianship. I've got about 4 "done" songs in this vein, and I have maybe 3 more that need more work.

You should go to http://www.cafeshops.com/crittersstore and buy yourself one of the coolest t-shirts ever. My wife makes those cartoons. Hi-larry-us.

I forgot to mention that last night, Sarah and I were bathing our three cats. In the beginning stages of bathing the first cat (Ninja), it somehow occurred to Sarah that she had read somewhere that it is easier to bath a cat if you put it in a bucket, because cats like to grip the rim of the bucket for security. This seemed, to me, to be something I had heard before as well, so I agreed to try it. After all, Ninja was freaking out a bit (normal for wet cats in large ceramic tubs), and maybe it would make the process easier.

In the future I will trust my natural talent for understanding and predicting the behavior of cats. (Reason # 468 why reading is dumb.)

Sarah arrived with the 5-gal bucket and placed it in the tub. I liften Ninja from his cowering huddle in the corner of the tub (where I had a firm and immobilizing grasp on him) and lowered him towards the tub. He flipped out, flailing all over the place. In the process, he snagged my right nostril from the inside...and poked his razor-sharp, scyth-shaped claw straight through to the other side. All I could say was, "Don't laugh--help!" Turns out Sarah didn't laugh (so she says), but she did remove the claw from my nose. And she was genuinely concerned afterwards.

Ninja still got his bath, but it wasn't in the bucket. And he was actually quite subdued after the initial trauma.

Coincidentally, this is the second time Ninja has gotten his claws stuck in my face. The first happened several years ago, when he freaked out over some dog when I was holding him. He grabbed my cheeks for security...and stuck there. I removed him myself that time, and the damage wasn't that bad.

Ninja's actually a very good and loving cat. The most loving cat I've ever known. Really, he is.

I am a sponsor of tyranical regimes. Are you?

I like living when it it isn't easy to live. Somehow it feels more alive. As

Americans, we strive for comfort and complacency. The middle-class does, anyway. Security, we call it maybe. And that is a good thing, not to be derided. But I do not like this trend towards isolationism on a personal and national level. We pick only the friends that are similar to us and to not challenge the reasoning behind our actions or the other people we affect. This flows all the way down to shopping at Wal-Mart, which in a cynic's terms might as well be called corporate sponsorship of communism, fascism, the horrific sex trade, and global oppression of the working poor. (Which much of SE Asia is bathing in, as it attempts to love up to American culture.)

But we never think about the people who actually get our money in those other countries, or what the hands actually looked like that stitched our "cheap" GAP or AE or even Fruit of the Loom clothing, or who exactly it was that said we had the right to have this cheap stuff made by poor people in other countries while they themselves do not have the same right. (Well, we earned it, didn't we? I mean, if they keep working hard, they should be able to live at the same level that we do as Americans. We all earned what we have.)

Why do we (I) get mad when people mention these sorts of things to me? Why do I not want to think about it? Why are these questions we just plain don't ask as Americans? Because the answers are all scary. And I wish we could find some answers together, because it sure is easier to live the right way and do the right thing when you're not doing it alone. I'm not really meaning to suggest anything here. I'm trying to *start* suggesting things. I want us to think, because our American dollars are currently the most powerful voice on the face of the planet. Welcome to capitalism.

Hiking Trip/Life/Friends

Kevin and I cashed in early on our trip. I confess--we bit off more than we were ready for. I don't think I've ever been that sore in my life. It felt like I had been in a fight, or had my legs run over by a truck. Next time (and there will be a next time) we will bring proper footwear, and we will be sensible when packing our packs. And I will bring a stave. It was a good time. I have the sexiest legs on earth at this point, due to the amazing conditioning of those days. (At least I had better, or else I shaved for nothing...) [end guised whining]

Ok. So. I haven't been sleeping well. (With the exception of Saturday night's return from hiking.) Life is on my mind. Not in a bad or worriesd way. It's just that it won't go away. I lay in bed and the thoughts don't turn off. They are not bad thoughts, just intrusive. [end awkward ambiguity]

I like having good friends. It is a rare and precious gift to have friends who actually KNOW who you are. I have precious few friends of that sort, who are willing to call me out when I am not being myself. Or when I am not being what I have the potential to become. What I find is that there are actually only a few people on earth who have the ability to know a person that way and the courage to say something about it. So, if you know any of those people--who like to be vulnerable and honest, have the capacity to be vulnerable and honest, and expect the same from you--then you should hang on to them dearly, even though the process is often uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant. They will help you become a person that you should be. [end sentimentality]

[end qualifying remarks]

Hiking

This evening I will be hiking with my good friend, Kevin. It will be a good time to get away from the stressful and sometimes tedious life I seem to live. Though it's really my own fault. Enough complaining.

I am interested in knowing what people think about personal change. Can we change who we are, or are we hardwired a certain way? What mix of those things? Have you had any success in changing your personality or behaviors? Have you even wanted to?

I don't feel like I've had much power to change for quite some time. "Power to change"--that doesn't sound right. Anyway, I feel like I've wanted to be a different person, but have been sliding back into "what I know." I am open to any advice, the more in-depth the better. (I don't have much tolerance for inspirational poster quotes, so if you find that's what you have, please unpack your compact ideas into something more realitic and practical.)

You can email me, or feel free to just post comments here. I might even prefer the postings.

Learning curve

Well, this is great. My own little territory. All of a sudden I feel like I should be funnier. Sadly, that can't happen. I'm actually only writing this to try to get in the habit. To prevent another half-started project. And to learn how to edit this template to my liking. Sheesh. I need a tutor. And I shall have one. Thank you for tolerating this. Perhaps I will delete it, once I discover how.