I just found some in my desk, and I don't remember how they got there. Almost a whole box of them, in fact, in a drawer I haven't opened for months and months. At least 6 months, I'd warrant. I chomped up the rest of them feverishly while I typed that last post.
Willy Wonka makes good candy. They made better candy before they were bought by Nestle. Here's another good candy: candy raisins. My grandparents used to buy them for us (I don't know where they'd get them) when we were kids. They taste nothing like raisins, and are a precursor to gummy candy, I'd guess. Similar to stale swedish fish (which we all know is the only way to properly eat swedish fish. Chewy on the outside, gooey in the middle). Hmm, it seems this post has become about old, stale candies. Odd.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Update to Yesterday
You want lighter fare? Eat a salad. I'm kidding. But I do get the privilege of the last word here, since it's my 'aus. : )
The two questions posed by Kevin are the most popular predicaments posed by pro-choice advocates. And they are almost completely irrelevant to the larger issue. Advocates purposefully throw those questions out to the public to distract and confuse our moral compasses. The reason why I say they are not relevant to the larger issue is because those situations happen so incredibly infrequently that they have little bearing on society at large. But no one ever mentions that, because it makes us seem compassionless and cruel.
It's artificial compassion--twisting a genuine concern over genuine dilemma into generalized compassion for a broader group of people. It's a similar argument to legalizing marijuana so that people can use it for genuine medical reasons, when in reality a very small number of people need it for medical reasons, and most people want to use it recreationally. Advocates for abortion use those situations the way the nightly news has made us afraid to walk city streets at night for fear of being shot, or that Jaws (with the help of the nightly news, coincidentally) has made us afraid to go into the water for fear of being eaten. It just doesn't happen like that--not nearly as often as we're led to believe. Not that it never happens, but if those scenarios were the real issue, then we'd be legislating (or counter-legislating) for those issues, not for abortion rights as a whole. It's not the content that concerns me. It's the motivation and intention.
Issue 2. I believe that morality can be legislated. That is, afterall, the sole purpose of legislation: to determine what behaviors we consider immoral and moral, and to determine consequences for performing those immoral behaviors. Heck, even God established His definition of morality by codifying it. I will agree, however, that you can't force anyone to behave morally, which I think is what Sarah was getting at. Which means that legislation is not the total answer to the problem (think, "Prohibition"), which brings us back to the questions of sin and what causes change in a person. I'm pissed because we get so pissed over the wrong issues, pretending to talk about things when we mean something else.
The two questions posed by Kevin are the most popular predicaments posed by pro-choice advocates. And they are almost completely irrelevant to the larger issue. Advocates purposefully throw those questions out to the public to distract and confuse our moral compasses. The reason why I say they are not relevant to the larger issue is because those situations happen so incredibly infrequently that they have little bearing on society at large. But no one ever mentions that, because it makes us seem compassionless and cruel.
It's artificial compassion--twisting a genuine concern over genuine dilemma into generalized compassion for a broader group of people. It's a similar argument to legalizing marijuana so that people can use it for genuine medical reasons, when in reality a very small number of people need it for medical reasons, and most people want to use it recreationally. Advocates for abortion use those situations the way the nightly news has made us afraid to walk city streets at night for fear of being shot, or that Jaws (with the help of the nightly news, coincidentally) has made us afraid to go into the water for fear of being eaten. It just doesn't happen like that--not nearly as often as we're led to believe. Not that it never happens, but if those scenarios were the real issue, then we'd be legislating (or counter-legislating) for those issues, not for abortion rights as a whole. It's not the content that concerns me. It's the motivation and intention.
Issue 2. I believe that morality can be legislated. That is, afterall, the sole purpose of legislation: to determine what behaviors we consider immoral and moral, and to determine consequences for performing those immoral behaviors. Heck, even God established His definition of morality by codifying it. I will agree, however, that you can't force anyone to behave morally, which I think is what Sarah was getting at. Which means that legislation is not the total answer to the problem (think, "Prohibition"), which brings us back to the questions of sin and what causes change in a person. I'm pissed because we get so pissed over the wrong issues, pretending to talk about things when we mean something else.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Mouthing Off
Mouthing Off will become a weekly installment here at Squidzaus. Content will include whatever I include, and sometimes (as is the case today) that might mean some harsh language. Be advised.
Today I was listening to NPR on my way to work. Terry Gross was doing an interview with the President of Planned Parenthood, Gloria Feldt. She just wrote a book called The War on Choice: The Right-Wing Attack on Women's Rights and How to Fight Back. You can check out more about (or even listen to) the particular episode here.
I didn't get to hear the first part of the interview, with the senator, but the second part, with Ms. Feldt, really got me going. I am always baffled by how completely and committedly self-centered people can become. No offense to Ms. Feldt--she was just giving voice to an increasingly popular mindset. I don't know why I'm always surprised that I'm always surprised. Our American culture is becoming so saturated in the philosophy of Individualism that you'd think I'd catch on.
To start with, abortion rights is not something in which I am thoroughly versed. Meaning, I generally choose to abstain from debate or even discussion because this issue is so incredibly devisive. People get really mad, vreally fast. I know what I think, and it is well-thought out, but I will not shout it from the hilltops because (good lord!) it's only moderate, and not adamantly one-sided. And I desperately want to avoid a pep-talk or lecture.
To get to the point, the interview made me disappointed with the whole discussion. It became obvious to me that Ms. Feldt was not as concerned with "women's rights"--which I would identify as the rights of women compared to men or any other US citizen--as much as she was concerned with the rights of individuals to do as they choose without consequence or accountability. She was voicing an increasingly popular opinion that individuals (though she framed this in terms of women) should be allowed to do whatever they want with minimal personal responsibility. Maybe she thinks that "women's rights" means that women should be granted the same sense of sexual irresponsibility that men have assumed since the history of the earth.
No, my mind is changed. I am one-sided. Only I'm like an Ent: I am not on any side because no one is on my side. For me the most concerning thing about the debate is that no one is talking about the rampant individuality and disdain for natural consequence in the whole affair, whether it concerns women or men. After all, it ain't just the woman who made that abortion (or single parent or foster child or adoption) possible. Sometimes, when you have sex, you make a baby. Let's all remember--just in case we are distracted by the flurry of the continued sexual revolution for the individual--that baby's are made by people having sex. Whether you're a creationist or evolutionist, you have to agree that the drive is present for the purpose of reproduction of the species.
If there's a moral issue in all this, it is that we want to strip the consequence from the action. But let's ignore the separate debate about the morality of it. What about the responsibility of it? If you are going to play adult games, you have to be willing to accept adult consequences. And sometimes that means parenthood, even when it might be ill-timed, inconvenient, or unwanted.
Instead of bandying about poverty-stricken women and teens who don't have proper financial, social, or educational resources to raise and care for a child, maybe we should be getting just as pissed off that there are poverty-stricken women in this country to begin with. Or that there are men who get them pregnant, then walk away when the walking's good.
Instead of ranting about the corporate woman who is held back by the stigma and reality of pregnancy, she carrying the burden of it alone, maybe we should be questioning whether climbing the corporate solitary ladder to the negligence of family and friends and meaningful relationship is something anyone should be doing.
Why the flying hell are we looking for more ways to NOT care about each other, NOT be responsible for each other, NOT support each other? I'm sick of sugar-coating all this PC bullshit. This could have been an essay. The purpose of this weblog is dialogue. Please, post your heart out on the comment board.
[lighter fare is coming tomorrow, I promise]
Today I was listening to NPR on my way to work. Terry Gross was doing an interview with the President of Planned Parenthood, Gloria Feldt. She just wrote a book called The War on Choice: The Right-Wing Attack on Women's Rights and How to Fight Back. You can check out more about (or even listen to) the particular episode here.
I didn't get to hear the first part of the interview, with the senator, but the second part, with Ms. Feldt, really got me going. I am always baffled by how completely and committedly self-centered people can become. No offense to Ms. Feldt--she was just giving voice to an increasingly popular mindset. I don't know why I'm always surprised that I'm always surprised. Our American culture is becoming so saturated in the philosophy of Individualism that you'd think I'd catch on.
To start with, abortion rights is not something in which I am thoroughly versed. Meaning, I generally choose to abstain from debate or even discussion because this issue is so incredibly devisive. People get really mad, vreally fast. I know what I think, and it is well-thought out, but I will not shout it from the hilltops because (good lord!) it's only moderate, and not adamantly one-sided. And I desperately want to avoid a pep-talk or lecture.
To get to the point, the interview made me disappointed with the whole discussion. It became obvious to me that Ms. Feldt was not as concerned with "women's rights"--which I would identify as the rights of women compared to men or any other US citizen--as much as she was concerned with the rights of individuals to do as they choose without consequence or accountability. She was voicing an increasingly popular opinion that individuals (though she framed this in terms of women) should be allowed to do whatever they want with minimal personal responsibility. Maybe she thinks that "women's rights" means that women should be granted the same sense of sexual irresponsibility that men have assumed since the history of the earth.
No, my mind is changed. I am one-sided. Only I'm like an Ent: I am not on any side because no one is on my side. For me the most concerning thing about the debate is that no one is talking about the rampant individuality and disdain for natural consequence in the whole affair, whether it concerns women or men. After all, it ain't just the woman who made that abortion (or single parent or foster child or adoption) possible. Sometimes, when you have sex, you make a baby. Let's all remember--just in case we are distracted by the flurry of the continued sexual revolution for the individual--that baby's are made by people having sex. Whether you're a creationist or evolutionist, you have to agree that the drive is present for the purpose of reproduction of the species.
If there's a moral issue in all this, it is that we want to strip the consequence from the action. But let's ignore the separate debate about the morality of it. What about the responsibility of it? If you are going to play adult games, you have to be willing to accept adult consequences. And sometimes that means parenthood, even when it might be ill-timed, inconvenient, or unwanted.
Instead of bandying about poverty-stricken women and teens who don't have proper financial, social, or educational resources to raise and care for a child, maybe we should be getting just as pissed off that there are poverty-stricken women in this country to begin with. Or that there are men who get them pregnant, then walk away when the walking's good.
Instead of ranting about the corporate woman who is held back by the stigma and reality of pregnancy, she carrying the burden of it alone, maybe we should be questioning whether climbing the corporate solitary ladder to the negligence of family and friends and meaningful relationship is something anyone should be doing.
Why the flying hell are we looking for more ways to NOT care about each other, NOT be responsible for each other, NOT support each other? I'm sick of sugar-coating all this PC bullshit. This could have been an essay. The purpose of this weblog is dialogue. Please, post your heart out on the comment board.
[lighter fare is coming tomorrow, I promise]
Friday, August 27, 2004
Getting (surprisingly) personal...
Yesterday, I wrote:
I do not have faith or hope in the power of programs to change a person's life. Programs only work if people are already self-motivated to change, and nary but a few have the capacity for that sort of bootstrap pulling. Real change only seems to come through loving, safe, long-term relationships. People, not programs, change people.
That prompted some good comments, which are prompting this post.
Change. It is something that perplexes me. It feels like the substance of life--moving from one place and understanding to increasingly better and wiser places and understandings. Humans have a choice: we can coast through life unaware (perhaps distracted by comfort, survival, or selfishness) or we can be conscious of the limited time we have to be alive, and aware of the people and world around us. Which is the better response often depends on who you're asking.
I agree that love is what changes people, and the twisting of love. The most severe damage is caused by people manipulating love for their self-interests--emotional, mental, social, sexual. Bad love turns people into things they would not have otherwise become, and offers them little choice in the becoming. The only hope for healing comes from good love, given freely and without condition. It's what we were built to need, but so infrequently receive from other needy humans.
Enter God, who had his own son's blood paid out to cover the cost of all humanity's evil. He offers us unconditional love--genuinely pure forgiveness and acceptance--if we believe that He is true and risen from the dead, and if we live like we believe it. This is the love that conquers death and can repair all damages. I sincerely and deeply believe this, and yearn for it. The bible says it's true, the bible is incredibly historically viable, and I've seen it happen in many people's lives, from completely different walks of life. Other faiths can't make the same claims. There's no way I can deny it.
My difficulty comes in my own struggle for change. In my head, I know that God cannot love me any more or less than He does, that I cannot earn His love, and that His love for me will not change, ever. But in my heart, why do I not feel or understand God's love for me the way I can feel another human's love for me? I see that other people have that peace. Why can I not escape sin, selfishness, and evil in my own life? Romans 7 answers that sufficiently, except when crossed with the theme of John 14:23. If this is so important to me, why is it so difficult for me to be disciplined (in prayer and study) as I pursue truth?
How can I find peace in never feeling good enough for God (which I never should), yet accepting that He loves me unconditionally? How can I change to the point that I am genuinely more concerned for someone--anyone--than I am for my own self? Unselfish, unconditional love has been given to me. But I cannot feel it, and I don't know how to respond to it. How can I change to the point that I live what I know?
I do not have faith or hope in the power of programs to change a person's life. Programs only work if people are already self-motivated to change, and nary but a few have the capacity for that sort of bootstrap pulling. Real change only seems to come through loving, safe, long-term relationships. People, not programs, change people.
That prompted some good comments, which are prompting this post.
Change. It is something that perplexes me. It feels like the substance of life--moving from one place and understanding to increasingly better and wiser places and understandings. Humans have a choice: we can coast through life unaware (perhaps distracted by comfort, survival, or selfishness) or we can be conscious of the limited time we have to be alive, and aware of the people and world around us. Which is the better response often depends on who you're asking.
I agree that love is what changes people, and the twisting of love. The most severe damage is caused by people manipulating love for their self-interests--emotional, mental, social, sexual. Bad love turns people into things they would not have otherwise become, and offers them little choice in the becoming. The only hope for healing comes from good love, given freely and without condition. It's what we were built to need, but so infrequently receive from other needy humans.
Enter God, who had his own son's blood paid out to cover the cost of all humanity's evil. He offers us unconditional love--genuinely pure forgiveness and acceptance--if we believe that He is true and risen from the dead, and if we live like we believe it. This is the love that conquers death and can repair all damages. I sincerely and deeply believe this, and yearn for it. The bible says it's true, the bible is incredibly historically viable, and I've seen it happen in many people's lives, from completely different walks of life. Other faiths can't make the same claims. There's no way I can deny it.
My difficulty comes in my own struggle for change. In my head, I know that God cannot love me any more or less than He does, that I cannot earn His love, and that His love for me will not change, ever. But in my heart, why do I not feel or understand God's love for me the way I can feel another human's love for me? I see that other people have that peace. Why can I not escape sin, selfishness, and evil in my own life? Romans 7 answers that sufficiently, except when crossed with the theme of John 14:23. If this is so important to me, why is it so difficult for me to be disciplined (in prayer and study) as I pursue truth?
How can I find peace in never feeling good enough for God (which I never should), yet accepting that He loves me unconditionally? How can I change to the point that I am genuinely more concerned for someone--anyone--than I am for my own self? Unselfish, unconditional love has been given to me. But I cannot feel it, and I don't know how to respond to it. How can I change to the point that I live what I know?
Thursday, August 26, 2004
DTP
Desk Top Puddling. It's close to occuring right here at this very desk. (Mmm, ahh, I could just put my head down for a little nap, just a little rest...) Why I am so tired, I do not know. I suppose it has to do with my lack of work to do. Brain has no stimulation. Refusal to create busywork. Another cup of coffee at this point will be my undoing.
Yesterday I got to participate in a focus group comprised of 11 Executive Directors (or close to it) of social service agencies from Athens and surrounding countie,s one mid-level person from the local DV shelter...and me. This is the perk of being the Acting Dir of Caregiving (techinically I am my own boss right now) and having the Exec Dir away for a training seminar for the week. It was a little awkward, being the obviously youngster in the group (and also the only one in jeans and sneakers--hey! At least I remembered to shave!), but it was also enjoyable. I like to watch bigwigs in their element, particularly when there's a collection of them in a peer setting. So many personalities, so many agendas. And almost all of them are good agendas, and very thoughtful, and desiring to be helpful. And yet seemingly so removed from the front-lines of what their agencies do or the people they serve. But, we did good work yesterday, brainstorming trouble spots in the local Appalachian Ohio culture and informing a local grantor of those areas. So, maybe some new money and new ideas will sprout here in the coming years.
I do not have faith or hope in the power of programs to change a person's life. Programs only work if people are already self-motivated to change, and nary but a few have the capacity for that sort of bootstrap pulling. Real change only seems to come through loving, safe, long-term relationships. People, not programs, change people.
Time for another cup of coffee.
Yesterday I got to participate in a focus group comprised of 11 Executive Directors (or close to it) of social service agencies from Athens and surrounding countie,s one mid-level person from the local DV shelter...and me. This is the perk of being the Acting Dir of Caregiving (techinically I am my own boss right now) and having the Exec Dir away for a training seminar for the week. It was a little awkward, being the obviously youngster in the group (and also the only one in jeans and sneakers--hey! At least I remembered to shave!), but it was also enjoyable. I like to watch bigwigs in their element, particularly when there's a collection of them in a peer setting. So many personalities, so many agendas. And almost all of them are good agendas, and very thoughtful, and desiring to be helpful. And yet seemingly so removed from the front-lines of what their agencies do or the people they serve. But, we did good work yesterday, brainstorming trouble spots in the local Appalachian Ohio culture and informing a local grantor of those areas. So, maybe some new money and new ideas will sprout here in the coming years.
I do not have faith or hope in the power of programs to change a person's life. Programs only work if people are already self-motivated to change, and nary but a few have the capacity for that sort of bootstrap pulling. Real change only seems to come through loving, safe, long-term relationships. People, not programs, change people.
Time for another cup of coffee.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
My Favorite Mantis
Last night I found a praying mantis. I've never seen a full-grown mantis before. A few years ago I found a few babies (1") that hatched in a bush near my workplace. They were different colors, and each one amazing. They were exactly like adult ones, only teeny. The one last night was 5-6" long and orange with black eyes and light green wings. It wasn't a particularly spectacular aviator. I wanted to take it home for a pet. Supposedly, people in Japan used to (still do?) keep them as pets, somehow. I've seen it on the tv. In terms of bugs, I think they are my favorite. They are the least buggy, to me, and I like the way they dance.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Where is this place?
I have been out-of-sorts for the past few days. I can't explain what's going on, but that's what's going on--I can't explain it. What I mean is that I could explain it if I could explain it. Don't feel excluded, see, because I'm on the outside too.
The original Japanese version of Godzilla: King of the Monsters (1954) is being released in the US for the first time. The original US version (1956) has an American actor (Raymond Burr) in scenes, and has a different ending. I learned recently that they shot all of Burr's scenes in LA in 24 hours, with stand-ins for the original Japanese actors, then they just cut a different version of the movie for American audiences. I really like the Raymond Burr version, but I am very excited to see the original release. Godzilla movies have a bad rap, but most of them are actually quite good movies. The first one in particular, if you like old films and/or great sci-fi. I am looking for a benefactor.
The original Japanese version of Godzilla: King of the Monsters (1954) is being released in the US for the first time. The original US version (1956) has an American actor (Raymond Burr) in scenes, and has a different ending. I learned recently that they shot all of Burr's scenes in LA in 24 hours, with stand-ins for the original Japanese actors, then they just cut a different version of the movie for American audiences. I really like the Raymond Burr version, but I am very excited to see the original release. Godzilla movies have a bad rap, but most of them are actually quite good movies. The first one in particular, if you like old films and/or great sci-fi. I am looking for a benefactor.
Monday, August 23, 2004
"I really don't think you're strong enough..."
There is a trailer court of about 50 trailers near my home. Actually, it makes up a piece of the view from my front window. And it is what I generally look at when I sit on my front porch. It is about 20 yards from my door down to the road, then across the road are my neighbors' houses, and just beyond them over a little creek is the trailer court. I'd say it's about 150 yards total from my front door to the closer trailers. My neighbors have large (avidly well kempt) lawns. For the most part, I like having the trailer court around--things are a little different here in Appalachia, and it's certainly not like the projects or anything.
Here's what I'm talking about: This is my town.
My house is around Lattitude: .3679010 Longitude: 2.143933
You can hold your mouse over the map to see the coordinates change on the side. The trailer court is the light gray rectanglish shape directly to the right of my house. Or, if you prefer, the trailer court should be the largest light gray rectanglish shape directly in the middle of the map. My house is a skinch to the left of it.
Someone at that trailer court seems to have had a certain windfall recently. Today, as I was paying bills in my front room, I was treated to all the sounds of "Cher's Greatest Hits" being blasted from someone's brand new car stereo system over at the trailer court. Do you believe in life after love? Well, do you?
Here's what I'm talking about: This is my town.
My house is around Lattitude: .3679010 Longitude: 2.143933
You can hold your mouse over the map to see the coordinates change on the side. The trailer court is the light gray rectanglish shape directly to the right of my house. Or, if you prefer, the trailer court should be the largest light gray rectanglish shape directly in the middle of the map. My house is a skinch to the left of it.
Someone at that trailer court seems to have had a certain windfall recently. Today, as I was paying bills in my front room, I was treated to all the sounds of "Cher's Greatest Hits" being blasted from someone's brand new car stereo system over at the trailer court. Do you believe in life after love? Well, do you?
Friday, August 20, 2004
Public apologies
The thing yesterday about running--and, in fact, all the things that I have written about running--was meant to be taken as a joke. I did not mean to bite anyone. I am sorry if it seemed so. Looking back, the cynicism isn't quite as thick as it seemed yesterday when I was typing. My apologies.
Now, for some nerdness. AvP is a good movie. Don't argue with me. I will tell you that it accomplished everything that it was attempting to do. And you will have no response, because you will know that I am right.
I just finished reading the "Helm's Deep" chapter of The Two Towers. I can't wait until I finish the series so I can start again.
I will probably be watching some combination of Aliens, Predator 2, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, or Return of the Jedi over this weekend, on the offhand chance that someone cares to join me. Just give me a ring.
The Office is a great show. My friend Matt recently got them for his b-day, and I've seen 3 episodes so far, of 2 complete seasons (that's all they made). If you thought the awkwardness in "Meet the Parents" made you squirm, try turning that up to 11. And it's crass in the way that only Brits can get away with, which makes it even better, you mankey git wankers.
Now, for some nerdness. AvP is a good movie. Don't argue with me. I will tell you that it accomplished everything that it was attempting to do. And you will have no response, because you will know that I am right.
I just finished reading the "Helm's Deep" chapter of The Two Towers. I can't wait until I finish the series so I can start again.
I will probably be watching some combination of Aliens, Predator 2, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, or Return of the Jedi over this weekend, on the offhand chance that someone cares to join me. Just give me a ring.
The Office is a great show. My friend Matt recently got them for his b-day, and I've seen 3 episodes so far, of 2 complete seasons (that's all they made). If you thought the awkwardness in "Meet the Parents" made you squirm, try turning that up to 11. And it's crass in the way that only Brits can get away with, which makes it even better, you mankey git wankers.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Return of the King; Running Tongue in Cheek
Hey, everyone! Randy's back!! This guy is saavy and saucy. And thoroughly missed in both the weblogal and local senses. I can only hope that he is moving to Athens after his wedlock is finalized.
This is all I will say about running. If you are jealous of the initiative and dedication with which my wife (not I) have undertaken this activity, then just say as much. Otherwise, resign yourself to being out of shape and lethargic in a quieter fashion. Be advised: your 30's are approaching.
The Breakdown:
But that's the way it goes in human cultures, ain't it? You've got a group of relatively like-minded folk, who all relatively like and dislike, do and don't do the same sorts of things. That's how you gain entry to the group, most often. Then, one person--perhaps the one least expected to do anything out of the prescribed, if unofficial, ordinary--steps out and does something different. Makes a decisive, personal change. Starts a ripple. Unintentionally makes everyone uneasy for disrupting the norm, for calling into brief, quiet question whether the whole group shouldn't be doing that something different too. In defense, they lash out, hissing and rationalizing and calling into question foundations and motives, allegiances and character.
But deep down, they know the truth. And they're upset because they know that they know the truth, but they've been reassured by the like-minded folk and by time that the truth isn't actually the truth. "But how can I actually do and think everything 'true' at once? That's impossible. And who decides what's 'true' anyway?" they say.
And the ripples gently dissipate, and quiet calm returns--in time--to the like-minded folk.
This is all I will say about running. If you are jealous of the initiative and dedication with which my wife (not I) have undertaken this activity, then just say as much. Otherwise, resign yourself to being out of shape and lethargic in a quieter fashion. Be advised: your 30's are approaching.
The Breakdown:
But that's the way it goes in human cultures, ain't it? You've got a group of relatively like-minded folk, who all relatively like and dislike, do and don't do the same sorts of things. That's how you gain entry to the group, most often. Then, one person--perhaps the one least expected to do anything out of the prescribed, if unofficial, ordinary--steps out and does something different. Makes a decisive, personal change. Starts a ripple. Unintentionally makes everyone uneasy for disrupting the norm, for calling into brief, quiet question whether the whole group shouldn't be doing that something different too. In defense, they lash out, hissing and rationalizing and calling into question foundations and motives, allegiances and character.
But deep down, they know the truth. And they're upset because they know that they know the truth, but they've been reassured by the like-minded folk and by time that the truth isn't actually the truth. "But how can I actually do and think everything 'true' at once? That's impossible. And who decides what's 'true' anyway?" they say.
And the ripples gently dissipate, and quiet calm returns--in time--to the like-minded folk.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Some things.
There are better ways of accomplishing all these things, but this is the way I have chosen. So let it be written, so let it be done.
1. It is a joy to work with people who are good friends, and it is quite sad when they leave. That said, I am sad to not have Liz as a coworker anymore. Things are not the same for me here. That is to be expected, but is regrettable. This is similar, but far less saddening, to when Jessi moved to Seattle. Liz's departure is less final, as she's staying in town. All this is compounded by the fact that so many friends are leaving this place: Dave, Kelly, Kathryn, Craig. And me, eventually. Talk about your transition. But I do believe that it is for the best--for all of us and for the health of Good Works too. It is odd that all this departure doesn't feel like a death so much as new life all the way around.
2. Greg (or Ben). Send me some contact info (phone/email) for Greg via email secretninjaattack@yahoo.com There are conversations that should take place before formal plans are established. Vision/influences/committments/etc. It is wise to all be on the same page in such matters. All said, I am quite flattered by your combined enthusiasm! I am always surprised by that, for some reason. Merci.
3. I lied. There is no 3.
4. Unless you consider the existence of the lie to be true content, in which case there is a 3 after all, and it is deceptive.
5. I haven't started running. I haven't purchased running shoes. I don't think exercise should be about fat so much as about muscles and health. I will be running in the race, but I haven't decided if I will train for it. I might just see how in/out of shape I am. It's only a 5k, and I used to be good at those in HS.
1. It is a joy to work with people who are good friends, and it is quite sad when they leave. That said, I am sad to not have Liz as a coworker anymore. Things are not the same for me here. That is to be expected, but is regrettable. This is similar, but far less saddening, to when Jessi moved to Seattle. Liz's departure is less final, as she's staying in town. All this is compounded by the fact that so many friends are leaving this place: Dave, Kelly, Kathryn, Craig. And me, eventually. Talk about your transition. But I do believe that it is for the best--for all of us and for the health of Good Works too. It is odd that all this departure doesn't feel like a death so much as new life all the way around.
2. Greg (or Ben). Send me some contact info (phone/email) for Greg via email secretninjaattack@yahoo.com There are conversations that should take place before formal plans are established. Vision/influences/committments/etc. It is wise to all be on the same page in such matters. All said, I am quite flattered by your combined enthusiasm! I am always surprised by that, for some reason. Merci.
3. I lied. There is no 3.
4. Unless you consider the existence of the lie to be true content, in which case there is a 3 after all, and it is deceptive.
5. I haven't started running. I haven't purchased running shoes. I don't think exercise should be about fat so much as about muscles and health. I will be running in the race, but I haven't decided if I will train for it. I might just see how in/out of shape I am. It's only a 5k, and I used to be good at those in HS.
Monday, August 16, 2004
The rock show and some humble pie
I am greatly fighting the urge to both glorify and degrade myself for the show on Saturday. I played well and sang well. Not great, but really good. I really like being good at this. I feel awkward for saying that, like it's not something that's supposed to be said. Art/entertainment is such a weird mix of ego/humility. A posting on continuums is coming soon. Kevin made my songs much better with his cello playing. So says I.
Kevin and I opened the show with 4 originals and 2 covers, then I finished with one more original. Then, we all freaked out because we couldn't get the keytar (yes, keytar. straight from the 80's) working for Aaron's show. After 10 minutes, it was up and working--none of knew anything about ancient midi controllers--and Aaron's show was moving. He played almost all original stuff. I played Casio keyboard drums, Kevin was on keytar, Geoff played bass, and Aaron did his thang with the guitar, Omnichord, and singing. Good times. It was an odd and sometimes loose show, but what can you expect from 2 practices and unfamiliar instruments? All in all, a bang-up show. Much thanks to all who came out.
Brooke--I admit that I baited you with the JT thing, more than most. But I'm glad you bit. Only now, damn it all, I have to rethink my prejudices against JT. [see "Splain it..." and subsequent comments] I hate it when that happens. Thanks a lot. Truth be told (read: pretentiousness revealed), I don't like his art/entertainment...probably because he's more famouser and a better dancer than me. Pill swallowed. If there was some benign and unweighted way in which I could listen to his album, I would do it. But I seem to have made such a fuss over this. I wish I wasn't such an opinionated moron when it came to music...or most things, for that matter.
ps: I'm a moron because my opinions are held to tightly and sometimes ignorantly, not because they aren't viable. I hope.
Kevin and I opened the show with 4 originals and 2 covers, then I finished with one more original. Then, we all freaked out because we couldn't get the keytar (yes, keytar. straight from the 80's) working for Aaron's show. After 10 minutes, it was up and working--none of knew anything about ancient midi controllers--and Aaron's show was moving. He played almost all original stuff. I played Casio keyboard drums, Kevin was on keytar, Geoff played bass, and Aaron did his thang with the guitar, Omnichord, and singing. Good times. It was an odd and sometimes loose show, but what can you expect from 2 practices and unfamiliar instruments? All in all, a bang-up show. Much thanks to all who came out.
Brooke--I admit that I baited you with the JT thing, more than most. But I'm glad you bit. Only now, damn it all, I have to rethink my prejudices against JT. [see "Splain it..." and subsequent comments] I hate it when that happens. Thanks a lot. Truth be told (read: pretentiousness revealed), I don't like his art/entertainment...probably because he's more famouser and a better dancer than me. Pill swallowed. If there was some benign and unweighted way in which I could listen to his album, I would do it. But I seem to have made such a fuss over this. I wish I wasn't such an opinionated moron when it came to music...or most things, for that matter.
ps: I'm a moron because my opinions are held to tightly and sometimes ignorantly, not because they aren't viable. I hope.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Monkey in the Middle
How is it that I have entered my late 20's--when the very last vestiges of youth may still be grasped, and adulthood staved off only a few more years before it officially becomes denial--and I still don't know what I'm doing? Is it just a myth that we should all have some internal calling, some sense of "what to do with my life"? This frustrates me.
Some people seem to "get it." They are going places, have direction. And then there are those of us who aren't sure what we "should" be doing, but know we don't want to be doing what we're currently doing. And what is it that I'm doing, anyway? Chasing fanciful visions of creating music as a career, of influencing culture? Or just griping about all the things I'm not doing.
I am envious of go-getters. They don't ask these questions. They just do stuff. What's the point in being an artist if I can't get off my duff and make art.
I like my wife lots. She lets me talk her ear off about these sorts of things at night when I know she'd rather be sleeping. She has a sucky job that starts at 6am. But with her little free time she's working on doing what she wants to do--dog sheltering and training. I play video games, partially because I enjoy them and partially because they distract from the things I'm scared to do.
How does one become brave? Brave enough to try things that are risky without fretting about it all the time? It always feels like I'm jumping off a bridge when I do stuff like that.
Some people seem to "get it." They are going places, have direction. And then there are those of us who aren't sure what we "should" be doing, but know we don't want to be doing what we're currently doing. And what is it that I'm doing, anyway? Chasing fanciful visions of creating music as a career, of influencing culture? Or just griping about all the things I'm not doing.
I am envious of go-getters. They don't ask these questions. They just do stuff. What's the point in being an artist if I can't get off my duff and make art.
I like my wife lots. She lets me talk her ear off about these sorts of things at night when I know she'd rather be sleeping. She has a sucky job that starts at 6am. But with her little free time she's working on doing what she wants to do--dog sheltering and training. I play video games, partially because I enjoy them and partially because they distract from the things I'm scared to do.
How does one become brave? Brave enough to try things that are risky without fretting about it all the time? It always feels like I'm jumping off a bridge when I do stuff like that.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Splain it to me, Lucy.
For reasons that are unclear to me, Justin Timberlake (aka JT) has a reputation for being "genuinely good." I've heard it from a few different sources, and it seems to be the popular opinion. Presumably, the "genuinely" qualifier is to make a distinction between JT and all the other pop stars out there, who must be "genuinely not good," though they are doing basically the same things (singing, dancing, carrying on) in the entertainment realm.
Someone will need a strong argument indeed to pursuade me that JT is any different from Brittney or Christina or even Avril. He still doesn't write his own songs, or style his own hair, or dress himself, or choreograph his own shows, and he has still been groomed since pre-adolescence for pop stardom, so we're hardly talking raw talent. I see no practical difference. If it's just because his music is somehow different in quality than other pop stars, then he's not responsible for the difference--he's a product, just like the rest. In short, if the reason he is "genuinely good" is because he has some artistic credibility, then I beg to differ.
Maybe it's because he's a boy, and can therefore reasonably pass off the image of toughness and sexuality without being mocked or dubbed a hussy. Things girls have never really been allowed to do.
And let's all make a stronger effort to use the word "hussy" more often, hmm?
Someone will need a strong argument indeed to pursuade me that JT is any different from Brittney or Christina or even Avril. He still doesn't write his own songs, or style his own hair, or dress himself, or choreograph his own shows, and he has still been groomed since pre-adolescence for pop stardom, so we're hardly talking raw talent. I see no practical difference. If it's just because his music is somehow different in quality than other pop stars, then he's not responsible for the difference--he's a product, just like the rest. In short, if the reason he is "genuinely good" is because he has some artistic credibility, then I beg to differ.
Maybe it's because he's a boy, and can therefore reasonably pass off the image of toughness and sexuality without being mocked or dubbed a hussy. Things girls have never really been allowed to do.
And let's all make a stronger effort to use the word "hussy" more often, hmm?
Monday, August 09, 2004
Self-Promo and a Job Announcement
First off: I'm playing at Donkey Coffee this Saturday at 9pm, if that means anything to anyone who reads this. Aaron will also be playing (he's the headliner), and maybe Troy. It will be rockin'. In a small town coffee shop sort of way. And, if all goes according to plan, the mighty Kevin will be playing some cello with me.
Second. For anyone who didn't already know, I have decided to leave my job at Good Works as of December 31. I have felt for a great long while that something in my life needed to change, because I wasn't able to do the things I felt I was "supposed" to be doing. GW certainly is not the sole cause of those feelings, but it is a contributor. And, knowing myself, the only way to successfully make a significant change in the way I live my life and prioritize my time is...to make a significant change and reprioritize my time. Small scale changes only lead to a quiet trip back to complacency, in my experience.
This is a big deal for me. I've been there 4 years, and it's the only "real" job I've ever had. ("Real" being defined as semi-permanent, longer term. Opposed to seasonal employment or school-time employment.) I do not yet have anything else lined up, nor do I have a strong sense of what I "should" be doing for employment. It's confusing because my plan is not quite as vague as all this...and yet in some ways it very much is. Sarah and I will be staying around the Athens area, so whatever job I find might be a reasonable local commute. If you have tips, hints, or inside connections, feel free to be a friend and drop a line.
Second. For anyone who didn't already know, I have decided to leave my job at Good Works as of December 31. I have felt for a great long while that something in my life needed to change, because I wasn't able to do the things I felt I was "supposed" to be doing. GW certainly is not the sole cause of those feelings, but it is a contributor. And, knowing myself, the only way to successfully make a significant change in the way I live my life and prioritize my time is...to make a significant change and reprioritize my time. Small scale changes only lead to a quiet trip back to complacency, in my experience.
This is a big deal for me. I've been there 4 years, and it's the only "real" job I've ever had. ("Real" being defined as semi-permanent, longer term. Opposed to seasonal employment or school-time employment.) I do not yet have anything else lined up, nor do I have a strong sense of what I "should" be doing for employment. It's confusing because my plan is not quite as vague as all this...and yet in some ways it very much is. Sarah and I will be staying around the Athens area, so whatever job I find might be a reasonable local commute. If you have tips, hints, or inside connections, feel free to be a friend and drop a line.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Hey clean freaks! (different from neat freaks)
If you are one of those people who brush your teeth more than twice a day and/or wash your hands all the time and/or use that hand sanitizer to avoid a plague and/or repeatedly use disinfectant sprays on doorknobs and countertops and/or create toilet protectors out of toilet paper when there are no actual protectors to use because you can't handle the thought of your buttocks touching the same seat as someone else's buttocks...then this message is for you.
Stop it. Just stop. You are a slave to The Man.
You have been duped by advertising and advertisers and the bleeding paranoid evening news into believing things about germs and contamination that are not true, for the single and sole purpose of creating in you the perceived need for decontamination products. Watch your tv more closely, you'll see it. There's a whole campaign dedicated purely to you: the paranoid germaphobic.
And you also believe things about your own body that aren't true. Did you know that, in fact, you are probably increasing your chances of infection by vigilantly protecting yourself from all those germs? Because your body's immune system doesn't learn how to fight them off, that's why. Consider this: babies who do not have pets in their home stand a much higher chance of being allergic to animals than babies who do have pets in the home. Why? Because even baby immune systems need a work out. And for as much as germs adapt, our bodies also adapt.
Did you know that there are actually good bacteria that live on your skin? That not all germs are bad? That without certain bacteria in your guts, you couldn't digest food properly?
Trust your skin. Trust those white blood cells. The plan is, if we give our systems a good workout now, when we're younger, then we'll have a larger inventory of antibodies for when we are older, and our immune systems don't work as well.
Stop it. Just stop. You are a slave to The Man.
You have been duped by advertising and advertisers and the bleeding paranoid evening news into believing things about germs and contamination that are not true, for the single and sole purpose of creating in you the perceived need for decontamination products. Watch your tv more closely, you'll see it. There's a whole campaign dedicated purely to you: the paranoid germaphobic.
And you also believe things about your own body that aren't true. Did you know that, in fact, you are probably increasing your chances of infection by vigilantly protecting yourself from all those germs? Because your body's immune system doesn't learn how to fight them off, that's why. Consider this: babies who do not have pets in their home stand a much higher chance of being allergic to animals than babies who do have pets in the home. Why? Because even baby immune systems need a work out. And for as much as germs adapt, our bodies also adapt.
Did you know that there are actually good bacteria that live on your skin? That not all germs are bad? That without certain bacteria in your guts, you couldn't digest food properly?
Trust your skin. Trust those white blood cells. The plan is, if we give our systems a good workout now, when we're younger, then we'll have a larger inventory of antibodies for when we are older, and our immune systems don't work as well.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I Shall Make Music!!
The problem with this thing is that I never have anything to say unless I'm prompted by something else. ...and there's nothing else in here...
Ok. So, I'm going to start recording a few of my songs over the next few months. I am rather slow at the process, but I really like the whole messy ordeal of it. And the songs are good ones. And I need something to do. And I've been griping about this for a really long time and need to get of my ass and do something. I think that you will like the songs. They are something different, but familiar. They are a new direction for me, and they stretch my musicianship. I've got about 4 "done" songs in this vein, and I have maybe 3 more that need more work.
You should go to http://www.cafeshops.com/crittersstore and buy yourself one of the coolest t-shirts ever. My wife makes those cartoons. Hi-larry-us.
Ok. So, I'm going to start recording a few of my songs over the next few months. I am rather slow at the process, but I really like the whole messy ordeal of it. And the songs are good ones. And I need something to do. And I've been griping about this for a really long time and need to get of my ass and do something. I think that you will like the songs. They are something different, but familiar. They are a new direction for me, and they stretch my musicianship. I've got about 4 "done" songs in this vein, and I have maybe 3 more that need more work.
You should go to http://www.cafeshops.com/crittersstore and buy yourself one of the coolest t-shirts ever. My wife makes those cartoons. Hi-larry-us.
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