I wish I got paid to make Flash humor

But since I don't, I'll simply tell you that you should watch this, because it is funny and true.

In fact, while you're there, click on the "Originals" tab and watch several of them. Nuckin' Futs! is also pretty dang hilarious, and there's a Weird Al vid in there too even. Gold mine!

This one is especially for Paul. Not Flash, but great stuff.

An acceptable behavior to be encouraged

I think parents should call their children the "fruit of my loins." Particularly as they enter adolescence, and particularly when speaking directly to the fruit of their loins. We are all the fruit of someone's loins (two people's loins, in fact), and I don't think this is something that is shameful. Loins bear fruit. Loin fruit. And you are a fruit of loins. Let's just get more comfortable with our identities as fruit of loins.

My response to the infidelity article

So, here's my spin. I was waiting for comments so folks wouldn't comment on my comments without reading the article first.

First. Screw Christianity just for a minute (metaphorically, of course). It has a strong cultural influence, sure, even on non-Christians, but in this context I'll call it irrelevant to the larger issue: people of every theological stripe and color still have some percentage of infidelity, and so will be counted as "fellow humans" in this discussion. :)

Second. I found it odd that the tone of the article (and maybe of the human psyche) seemed to be, "Infidelity is probably wrong, but I wish it wasn't, or at least I wish I didn't feel bad about it." Anyone else pick up on that?

Third. There is some irony in the claim that lofty marriage standards are a cause of infidelity--("In the ideal American marriage today, we are told to look to one person for everything—sexual, spiritual, financial, intellectual, emotional—we need.")--when the opposite could also be argued. A broken sense of self-worth could just as easily lead someone to a false expectation of what marriage should be. Broken people are broken people. Neither depending on one person for fulfillment nor spreading that expectation around will make a person whole if they aren't.

Fourth. This numbering system is stupid. Let's continue without it.

Which leads me to this: screwing around because you get off on the chase of the "prey" and/or the high of being wanted and desirable. Maybe reliving the burning, flirtatious excitement of the early times of a now tired relationship. Check this out:

Cheating broke up one of her longest and most important relationships, but the power of taking something that doesn't belong to her still enthralls. "Both people feel that, and they're desperate and animalistic and somehow strangely honest," she says. Lily compares infidelity to drugs, where there's a thrilling ride but an emptiness at the end. "If you win that man you're cheating with, and you both make each other the primary person, you've lost the sense of danger, you've lost everything that fueled the experience."

It's my opinion that this is really what drives us to cheat, no matter what else we believe about the institution of fidelity, in or out of marriage. Just because some people can do it seemingly without feeling guilty doesn't mean they're doing it for some right reason. They're still doing it to get a sense of self-fulfillment (even if it's just instant-gratification pleasure). Maybe they wouldn't count themselves among the "broken" sort of cheaters, but there's certainly still evidence they know it's wrong.

As Tariq said to me: "No one is caught if he doesn't want to be caught." Henri (the French guy who showed his wedding ring before cheating) will know that what he did wasn't entirely right, but he won't thrash his soul, believing that what he did was entirely wrong.

Break that down into a philosophical argument about moral reasoning, and it could be argued that these guys don't have an issue with it because they are actively hiding their behavior from the people that will be affected by the behavior and offer them "negative feedback". This line of moral reasoning is similar to anti-social reasoning: the morality of the behavior is only relevant if I get caught. I'm suggesting that this rationale for cheating smacks more of stage 2 than the stage 5 we might otherwise want to put it in. Cheating becomes instant gratification of my current want, without regard for the other people my behavior might affect.

Toooooooo concluuuuuuude. We cheat because we are broken. Even if we think we're fixed (maybe because we're married, or Christian, or a married Christian married to a Christian), we're broken if we're seeking fulfillment or completion from other people, particularly if we are not able to be honest and open about our needs and wants and behaviors with the ones we claim to love.

Internet Spaceships

Well, if you're too busy for real conversation then I'll give you more fluffy nerdness that will seem silly and irrelevant to you. [Evidently alienation is the consequence of not participating. Somehow I doubt that will be motivational.]

A small band of pirates officially declared war on my small corporation in Eve Online yesterday. This means that they now have the right to attack members of the League of the Tiger and Tentacle (my corp), even in Empire space. (Normally, Empire space is "safe" and the in-game police would destroy them for shooting at us.) I don't know why they chose us really, as we aren't movers and shakers. Maybe they thought we'd make easy targets. But, they also bit off a good deal more than they will be able to swallow if they actually want to fight, as we have several adequately-skilled players and a small host of allies willing to fight for us. Horse Killers, as the pirate corp is called, has a week to take advantage of their official war declaration before it runs out and they'll have to pay to renew it again. I'm planning on ignoring them for the time being to assess their actual threat level. My suspicion is that they are like bratty toddlers looking for attention, and that if we ignore them they'll get bored and go away.

And if not, then the League will get out the wooden spoon and it will be spanking time. >:)

An article about infidelity in the US and Europe

Read this article about infidelity (which is a bit long for the internet). It'll take maybe 5-10 minutes. Then post your response here in the comments section. Try not to comment on the author or on the quality of the article itself, but on the broader topic and what thoughts or feelings it stirs in you. You can post anonymously if you want.

Today's Lunch Menu

From Thai Kitchen brand:

One package of rice noodles
One small packet of peanut oil
One packet of seasonings

From the office water cooler/heater:

Hot water
One small spider


It fell out of the cooler and I watched it die. In my food. It was relatively quick, but it certainly looked painful, perhaps for both of us. I plucked it from my meal and ate the rest. But only after finding a leg left on the side of the plastic dish after bite number two.

Today's Lunch Menu

Courtesy of O'Betty's Red Hot!:

One "Tempest" dog with all the good stuff that burns just right
One order of fresh-cut, skin-on fries with malt vinegar and catsup
One Frosty Top brand Vanilla Caramel Creme Soda

Michael McKean

Stop wastin' my time
You know what I want!
Or maybe you don't
Do I have to come right out and say it?
Give me some mo-ney!
Give me some mo-ney!

Laying it out there.

These are things that I feel like just need to be said. And I wish that other people could accept them.

I have a gruff, forward disposition that can comes across as mean. I rarely think of it as being mean when I say whatever I'm saying. Something happens in the transition from thought to communication that junks it up. While I would love for my communication habits and thought patterns in this area to change radically, admittedly this is highly unlikely. It would take too much effort, patience, and consistent feedback--three things in short supply at the moment.

I love my wife all the time, even when I am seemingly mean to her. Even when we have fights and disagreements and are actively not liking each other. Even when I push her away, I usually want her close. But for reasons I have an incredibly difficult time controlling, I play "hard to get".

I want to be wanted, but I often unintentionally make people "prove" it by working for it (see above). There is so much packed into this thought, and I can't say any more right now.

No gnus like good gnus

I don't have anything to say, really. Just wanted to let you know that there is still blood pumping through my arteries. So I guess that qualifies me as being alive. :)

This weekend was a bit of a roller coaster. Nothing happened on Friday, so I played computer games most of the night. This was fine and fun, since I didn't get to play much at all the week prior. I woke up at noon on Saturday, a sign of sleep deprivation from earlier in the week. That's becoming the norm, which is also fine. In some strange way it helps me feel alive, I think because I'm not on a regular schedule. Saturday night Sarah and I went to go see The Jarts. They are an exceedingly talented band, and I hope they continue to make music as well crafted as what they've already got. Their current rough recordings on MySpace really don't do them justice at all.

I don't go to many music shows anymore, although it isn't really on purpose. I like going, but I also really don't like going to music shows. They make me feel horribly self-conscious, inadequate, and jealous. I think about what people think about me sitting there, I compare myself to the musicians playing (I'm usually either better than them or will never be), and I wish I was someone more motivated to pursue things and finish them. It doesn't matter that these things don't make sense or are untrue or are irrelevant. It's just where I live while I'm there. The good part of me going to shows is that in most cases I walk away with a renewed sense of "I could do that" or at least "I want to do that," and usually one new batch of lyrics, good or bad.

I do really like to go see music though, because if it's good, it takes me somewhere else. To that place where I wish I could live all the time, where things are important and meaningful and honest. Transcendent is a good word for it. In some stupid way it feels like a more accurate representation of life itself, every moment pulsing, distilled from what we're normally caked with.

In other news, I am feeling angry and alone, and had weird, restless sci-fi dreams last night. And the response I can normally expect from the people I wish would help me is a pitiless, "Get over yourself. Deal with your own problems." And this makes me feel more angry and alone.

I wish Liz was in Athens for a bit, or Jessi M formerly D. Those two in particular are excellent for beers and bitching. In a healthy sort of way.

Also, I find myself liking Freezepop, the result of playing Guitar Hero 2.

a free write that will eventually be more structured and to which a friend commented "that accurately represents thoughts i have while sitting here"

Partition. Faceless voice. Black screen. No windows. no sunlight, fresh air, contact, direction. acoustic absorbency. drop ceiling yellowed except for the new ones with rain stains. abandoned recycling pile. paper. service activity log. receipts. sign out. initiative. responsibility. sign in. weekly schedule. program schedule. reporting schedule. on hold. occurrence. staff meeting. buzzing lights. squeaking fan belts. phone calls. 15 minute break. busy work. productivity. billable hours. turnover. mandatory. training. so quiet. so loud. if passion, compassion, heart, wisdom, hope, camaraderie, morale, vision, respect, creativity were veins we'd be cutting ourselves. we'd be cutters. attendance sheets. recruitment. confidentiality. pressboard furniture. keys. backup of backup copy. fiscal. bad coffee. beige & gray. beige & gray. beige & gray. maintenance. intercom. insects.