What the world needs now is another folk singer...

...like I need a hole in my head.

Thanks to all for commenting on the last post. Mayhap I should write for fashion advice more often. In fact, I will. I'm considering growing a gotee, sans moustache. I had one several months ago for a few months, and liked it reasonably well. To anyone who saw me during that time, any thoughts or opinions? To anyone who didn't see me during that time, any thoughts or opinions? I grow a nice ruddy brown beard. Female readers: please be advised that I am aware that there is a general consensus among you that facial hair in any context is undesirable. That said, all con opinions from you will be read with 75% weight, and all pro responses will be read with 125% weight, approx.

In other news, today has been a day of strange feelings. Sometimes the world feels too big, the evil too undefinable, the saturation too encompassing. Not overwhelming, just permeating. An underlying sense of something. I guess I know what it is. It's nice to fight for good, but can any ground actually be won? Is "peace" attainable? I am tired today.

PS: Spiral mac & cheese is the best.

10 Feet Tall

I'm not sure that I've ever felt that feeling before yesterday afternoon. Probably--my memory is horrible. Regardless, I went to an interview at 2pm yesterday and walked out with a job! And a decent job too. When I was thinking of leaving my old job, there were only two jobs in the social services field that I was still interested in doing: desk work or "prevention." And I wasn't even sure that "prevention" existed, but it seemed like the kind of thing that would exist in the sw world. (sw=social work; SW=Star Wars)

Turns out that it does exist, and that I will be doing it for our local drug/alcohol treatment organization. I'll be in charge of running two programs: one in-school program that teaches 4th/5th graders about how to make good choices and not abuse substances, and one with families, teaching them principles of good communication.

I start on Monday. Can anyone give me a solid definition of what "business casual" actually means, in practical terms?

Oddly enough, I just got a call a few minutes ago from the last place I interviewed (the one I was going to turn down regardless), and they wanted me to come in later today to meet the rest of the team. That makes me feel good, because I was starting to think the interview didn't go as well as I had thought after all. There is a certain satisfaction in being able to turn down a job because I already have a job! (And a certain satisfaction in knowing that the two jobs pay the same and have similar benefits, but one will be enjoyable for me and the other might have broken me in half over the long term.)

If you haven't already, check out the previous post/comments about money. That's where all the hot action is. Speak thy mind in full flagrance. And we shalt respect thee more for it.

forget government--what about One World Companies?

Wow. I was perusing the responsibleshopper.com site, just to see what all was on there and to find out for myself how balaced and fair their reporting seemed. I checked out the "compare companies" feature, which is really cool, and checked out the first thing on their list: alcohol producers. Four companies came up. Three of them had very neutral/good reports. Then there was Phillip Morris (rather, Altria, formerly called P.M.). I didn't take the time to read through the list of complaints against the company (the complaints are usually made by consumers and consumer groups) because I was flabberghasted by the incredible number of product brands and companies that P.M./Altria owns. Astounding. There were at least 50 companies. Tons of products. Kraft, Nabisco, Post, Miller, just to name a few recognizable ones.

I forget that giants like this exist. No wonder they can afford to pay for those anti-smoking ads: they make half the crap we buy! Disney had a really bad rep too: I was comparing restaurants earlier. Maybe I'll check out Proctor & Gamble tomorrow.

You should check out the site, if you haven't already. Not that it's the best thing ever, but it is more knowledge than I've had in awhile concerning the behind-the-scenes of the products we buy. And it mentions good things ("praises") about companies too, when they deserve them. For example, Taco Bell is taking initiatives to raise the wage of tomato harvesters in Florida quite substantially. And KFC is coming around to putting pressure on its chicken producers to stop cruelly abusing the animals (after consumer and PETA pressure on KFC). And it reports charitable giving too.

Rearranging the Furniture

Here's a new look. I wasn't tired tonight. I rarely am, yet I sleep until 10am regardless. (Last night I slept for 12 hours, and through my alarm.) The scribey-paper gif is gone forever. But it was coming to that anyway. I like these royalish deep colors.

What is your favorite Bible verse, if you have one? If not, what is your favorite proverb or wise saying? I'll post mine sometime soon.

The show went very well

Yes, it did. My inclination is to always dissect what could have been better about shows, much the same as I do when I cook homemade meals. But this time, because the show was genuinely good, I'm going to intentionally not criticize for the sake of criticism. Oh, to be an optimist.

All in all, the sound and feel of the show were very good. We played well, sounded good, and looked good on stage. Meaning: we looked comfortable and familiar with each other (although we are H-O-T-T as well). [ahem!] I was excited to see so many people there, many of whom were not necessarily there to see us specifically. It's always more impressive to impress someone who is unfamiliar with what you do than those who are more familiar with what you do. But wouldn't we all be hollow without those folks that support us because they know us and appreciate us and what we do? Everyone needs fans.

I was also encouraged because the show has motivated the band (myself included) to really push hard to keep working. We've been slowly but steadily working, and it was good to have a taste of reward for our work. I feel very blessed and thankful to get to play with hard-working, dedicated, and enthusiastic guys who appreciate what these songs are trying to do. (Cheers, fellas, should you read this.)

PS: please check out the previous post about money. I'd really like your thoughts and dialogue on the issue.

It Makes the World Go 'Round

As middle-class Americans, our most powerful message is not with any words spoken or written, but with where we spend our money. We are the richest people in the history of ever--yes we middle class--and if we got it into our heads to do so, I believe we could change the world just by being intentional in how and where we spend our money. How do you think that might work? Do you know any facts or evidence that prove any of this to be true?

Ooooooh Procrastination!

I am supposed to be editing my resume. Again. Instead I am wandering around on your weblogs, faithful readers, disappointed by the lack of new posts. What are you trying to do, force my hand? Ok, ok, I know what's good for me. I'll get to work on it right away.

Nerd Update: I bought two sets of RPG dice and a D&D Player's Handbook (3.0) this past week. Good lord, someone stop me. As an aside, if anyone wants to play with us, I will soon have an extra set of cool dice you can borrow... {: \

Ghostrunner Come Home

Ghostrunner Come Home has a small debut show this Thursday (2/10) at 9:30pm in the Front Room. We are playing as part of a showcase of local musicians. Come check it out. And also check out the band's weblog.
<----There's a link over there.

My nerdiest day to date

Today, I got up late. Then, I went to the bank, which was closing, but I managed to go through the teller window and ask for some coin rolls. Then, I walked to the Red Lantern comic shop and bought a pack of pirate ships. (You and I should play sometime. It's easy and fun.) Then, I went home and counted my accumulated change. I had $64.50 in change. (rolls: 3xquarters; 1xdimes; 9xnickels; manyxpennies) Then, I called Red Lantern and asked how he would feel about my making a purchase with coin rolls. (He was fine with it.) Then, I went to Red Lantern and bought 5 boxes of SW minis with my change and a 15% coupon that I had received in the mail earlier this week. Then, I went to Subway. Then, I went to Tyler's house and played D&D with some other nerds for several hours. Then, I came home and let the dogs out. Then, I made crepes for dinner with Sarah. (It gets progressively less nerdy.) Then, we watched The Birds. Then, I got on this computer machine and typed this and some other things. Now, I am going to bed.

Man, I can't wait until 11 months from now when I have another huge collection of change. And maybe even a job.

The Interview

I was almost late. I got caught up playing guitar. I thought I was leaving myself enough time to change clothes and get there...until I remembered that I wanted to review the resume and cover letter I sent them, just to be sure I told them the same story (I have several tweaks of my resume) as they'd read. So I fired up the computer while I threw a tie in the dryer--I don't wear ties often enough, it seems, because they are all wadded in a squished pile on my closet shelf. As I went to the mirror to tie the now-less-wrinkly tie, I noticed that I had also forgotten to shave. This is the peril of being a person who only shaves once a week, which is the peril of being a person who only had to shave once a week until about 2 years ago, when body hair finally caught up to me. More or less. I still only have one chest hair for every year I've been alive.

Anyway, I dry-shaved. Don't try this at home. Don't try it anywhere, in fact. The only good part was that I didn't bleed as much as I usually do. But good-gravy-in-a-gallon-tourine did my face burn (and still does) even with aftershave.

Made it to the interview on time, had to fill out paperwork anyway, and I think all in all it went well. I met with the woman who would be my supervisor and also with her supervisor. I answered all the questions thoroughly and appropriately, I feel. I could have been more knowledgeable on terms and the like, but I have no experience in the "real" social work field, so that is to be expected.

On my way out of the office I stopped to get a drink from a fountain. I wondered if it worked, because it looked very dry, as if it hasn't been used for a long time. Have you ever been to Epcot, or that hotel in Vegas, where they have those fountains that shoot bolts of water in fancy arcs? Well, that's exactly what this sucker did. About two feet into the air, and straight over the whole get up onto the floor. It was a good time, because they had let me see myself out.

Perhaps the best part of the whole interview process today is that it helped me to decide, without much lingering doubt, that I have no interest at all in pursuing a career in social work. None. It wasn't anything that they said directly, and it certainly isn't working with the people using the services. It was the language with which they described their own jobs and my future responsibilities. Talk of "billable hours", "ISP's", and how much of a pain in the petoot it is to meet "quotas" and the like. Not for me, muchacho.

I should have been wiser in my degree selection. C'est la vie. Anyone know of anywhere I could buy a used business or medical degree? It can be a fixer-upper, I have the time.

Also...

...I have a job interview this Friday. I'm not sure if I want the job, since it's one of very few jobs that could tax me more than my last one did (emotionally, not financially). But, those things can be explored and ironed out in the interview. And I am encouraged just to know that someone read my resume and responded!

Revelation: criticize my fears

I had a moment today. It was one of those momentous moments, the kind that feels like it should have happened ages ago, but is only happening now. I recognized today, for the first time, that much of what I do--or more specifically, what I don't do--is based on a fear of not meeting the (assumed) expectations of others.

I woke up today feeling really crappy. There haven't been new job ads in the paper the past few days, which means I have little to prepare for during the day. Also, I overslept this morning because my alarm clock malfunctioned. All this led to a morning in which I almost didn't get out of bed--no reason to. I was supposed to help a friend remodel his home today too, as he has been working on it all week, but I felt like I didn't have anything to contribute to the effort because he already had several more qualified people helping him.

Other things I "should" have been doing: working on songs so the band actually has some material to play; editing and turning in resumes at spots around town that haven't posted openings; cleaning fish tanks; cleaning up the house. There's probably more.

This morning was one of those rare moments when I was able to see clearly and also be honest with myself. I generally don't work on songs because I am afraid that the other band members, or people at large, won't like them or won't understand what I was trying to do. I don't want to help my friend work on his house because I have no technical skill at remodeling, and I might mess something up or slow someone down. I don't want to turn in resumes because the recipients might not be very impressed with me, and they might think me a nuisance for dropping off resumes uninvited. I don't clean my house because...well because I don't want to, and because I'm content to live in it as is. Besides, we aren't having any parties, so the place doesn't have to look respectable! :)

I am afraid that people will not accept or understand me, or that I might not make their grade. I cannot predict what a person thinks of me or of my work, and those things should not prevent me from being and doing anyway. This is common among people, I recognize, and I'm sure this doesn't sound as revolutionary to you as it did to me this morning.

This is all something that I have known for a long time...but for some reason it didn't really soak in until today. Knowledge isn't always power.

But today, I finished writing a song because I liked the song. Critics be damned. I know what I'm doing and what I want to do when I write. And that should be enough. Tomorrow I will try to practice this new freedom again.