I forgot to mention that last night, Sarah and I were bathing our three cats. In the beginning stages of bathing the first cat (Ninja), it somehow occurred to Sarah that she had read somewhere that it is easier to bath a cat if you put it in a bucket, because cats like to grip the rim of the bucket for security. This seemed, to me, to be something I had heard before as well, so I agreed to try it. After all, Ninja was freaking out a bit (normal for wet cats in large ceramic tubs), and maybe it would make the process easier.

In the future I will trust my natural talent for understanding and predicting the behavior of cats. (Reason # 468 why reading is dumb.)

Sarah arrived with the 5-gal bucket and placed it in the tub. I liften Ninja from his cowering huddle in the corner of the tub (where I had a firm and immobilizing grasp on him) and lowered him towards the tub. He flipped out, flailing all over the place. In the process, he snagged my right nostril from the inside...and poked his razor-sharp, scyth-shaped claw straight through to the other side. All I could say was, "Don't laugh--help!" Turns out Sarah didn't laugh (so she says), but she did remove the claw from my nose. And she was genuinely concerned afterwards.

Ninja still got his bath, but it wasn't in the bucket. And he was actually quite subdued after the initial trauma.

Coincidentally, this is the second time Ninja has gotten his claws stuck in my face. The first happened several years ago, when he freaked out over some dog when I was holding him. He grabbed my cheeks for security...and stuck there. I removed him myself that time, and the damage wasn't that bad.

Ninja's actually a very good and loving cat. The most loving cat I've ever known. Really, he is.

I am a sponsor of tyranical regimes. Are you?

I like living when it it isn't easy to live. Somehow it feels more alive. As

Americans, we strive for comfort and complacency. The middle-class does, anyway. Security, we call it maybe. And that is a good thing, not to be derided. But I do not like this trend towards isolationism on a personal and national level. We pick only the friends that are similar to us and to not challenge the reasoning behind our actions or the other people we affect. This flows all the way down to shopping at Wal-Mart, which in a cynic's terms might as well be called corporate sponsorship of communism, fascism, the horrific sex trade, and global oppression of the working poor. (Which much of SE Asia is bathing in, as it attempts to love up to American culture.)

But we never think about the people who actually get our money in those other countries, or what the hands actually looked like that stitched our "cheap" GAP or AE or even Fruit of the Loom clothing, or who exactly it was that said we had the right to have this cheap stuff made by poor people in other countries while they themselves do not have the same right. (Well, we earned it, didn't we? I mean, if they keep working hard, they should be able to live at the same level that we do as Americans. We all earned what we have.)

Why do we (I) get mad when people mention these sorts of things to me? Why do I not want to think about it? Why are these questions we just plain don't ask as Americans? Because the answers are all scary. And I wish we could find some answers together, because it sure is easier to live the right way and do the right thing when you're not doing it alone. I'm not really meaning to suggest anything here. I'm trying to *start* suggesting things. I want us to think, because our American dollars are currently the most powerful voice on the face of the planet. Welcome to capitalism.

Hiking Trip/Life/Friends

Kevin and I cashed in early on our trip. I confess--we bit off more than we were ready for. I don't think I've ever been that sore in my life. It felt like I had been in a fight, or had my legs run over by a truck. Next time (and there will be a next time) we will bring proper footwear, and we will be sensible when packing our packs. And I will bring a stave. It was a good time. I have the sexiest legs on earth at this point, due to the amazing conditioning of those days. (At least I had better, or else I shaved for nothing...) [end guised whining]

Ok. So. I haven't been sleeping well. (With the exception of Saturday night's return from hiking.) Life is on my mind. Not in a bad or worriesd way. It's just that it won't go away. I lay in bed and the thoughts don't turn off. They are not bad thoughts, just intrusive. [end awkward ambiguity]

I like having good friends. It is a rare and precious gift to have friends who actually KNOW who you are. I have precious few friends of that sort, who are willing to call me out when I am not being myself. Or when I am not being what I have the potential to become. What I find is that there are actually only a few people on earth who have the ability to know a person that way and the courage to say something about it. So, if you know any of those people--who like to be vulnerable and honest, have the capacity to be vulnerable and honest, and expect the same from you--then you should hang on to them dearly, even though the process is often uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant. They will help you become a person that you should be. [end sentimentality]

[end qualifying remarks]

Hiking

This evening I will be hiking with my good friend, Kevin. It will be a good time to get away from the stressful and sometimes tedious life I seem to live. Though it's really my own fault. Enough complaining.

I am interested in knowing what people think about personal change. Can we change who we are, or are we hardwired a certain way? What mix of those things? Have you had any success in changing your personality or behaviors? Have you even wanted to?

I don't feel like I've had much power to change for quite some time. "Power to change"--that doesn't sound right. Anyway, I feel like I've wanted to be a different person, but have been sliding back into "what I know." I am open to any advice, the more in-depth the better. (I don't have much tolerance for inspirational poster quotes, so if you find that's what you have, please unpack your compact ideas into something more realitic and practical.)

You can email me, or feel free to just post comments here. I might even prefer the postings.

Learning curve

Well, this is great. My own little territory. All of a sudden I feel like I should be funnier. Sadly, that can't happen. I'm actually only writing this to try to get in the habit. To prevent another half-started project. And to learn how to edit this template to my liking. Sheesh. I need a tutor. And I shall have one. Thank you for tolerating this. Perhaps I will delete it, once I discover how.

Welcome.

Here we are at last. It certainly took me longer than it should have. I was held up, like Gandalf. This does not mean I will not haunt other folks's's weblogs relentlessly, nor will you be spared my opinionated guestbook postings. C'est la vie.

Having said that, I will make certain efforts (pledge) not to alienate people here, unless it is for the expressed purpose of provocation. So, if you feel provoked, please understand that it is your duty to mouth off in some respectable and organized fashion. Preferably somewhere in this weblog so I will actually read it. With any luck, it won't be too long before we'll all have the option of posting on a message board. Mmmmm, public forums.

I should say that the goal of this weblog is to be smart and think together. But not to group-think. Coarseness is okay, as long as we are trying to say something and just can't find the tact. I suffer from that curse, and will probably take certain liberties not being granted to you, since this is my territory. Rudeness is not okay. Be forewarned.

I like life, and I like living. It is hard and confusing, but almost always worth the trouble. Few things are greater than redemption and salvation from evil--meaning evil choices and also evil circumstances. These things can very rarely be accomplished on one's own effort. These will hopefully be popular themes on this weblog, though coming in sometimes clandestine forms.

Nerds will also be a popular theme, because nerds know more than most people about good v. evil.

Again I say to you: Welcome. And thank you for coming.