So. Here we are. And it seems like it's time for another one of those honest discussions. This time the topic is swearing and its appropriateness, for all people in general, but for those claiming to be Christians in particular.
The rules are the same as always: feel free to post whatever you wish as long as you are being respectful, honest, and tasteful, and also feel free to post anonymously. "Tasteful" is here defined as "don't be rude or crass for the sake of being rude or crass."
Here's what I'd like to start with: pussy, dick, cunt, etc. I think we can all agree that the "magic" (or lack thereof) in any swear word lies in the semantics: i.e., words only mean what we say/think/feel they mean. That being the case, why is there a gradient of vulgarity in those three words? Personally, I'm very offended by the use of any of the three in any context. They are equally offensive because they have the same meaning.
Here's topic two, when you've sounded off on the first (which is very important, I think). I'm interested in hearing about your personal guidelines/boundaries for saying swear words: in what contexts do you curse? how do you decide what is okay and what isn't? what offends you? what doesn't? who offends you? who doesn't?
15 comments:
I'll state the obvious about those three and just say that the reason they are so offensive, I think, is that they are words that describe body parts. Body parts that are not bad, because no body parts are bad, period...but because people do things with those body parts that in some contexts are perceived by some people as bad, those words have a negative conotation. It's weird though because they kind of mean different things: When you call someone a dick, you are usually calling a male a slightly stronger version of "jerk." When you call someone a pussy, you are usually calling a male a "chicken" or a coward of some sort. When you call someone a cunt, it is usually a girl, and you are basically calling her a bitch but you want it to have a little more "oomph." It's actually really sad to me that we (we, as a society in general) use our own body part names to describe the jerkiness, bitchiness or cowardess of other people.
I don't think there's anything inherently vulgar about any word--it's the connotation attached by society. You can say screw on TV but you can't say fuck, even though they mean the same thing. It seems pretty arbitrary. And "bloody" is a swear word in Britain, but no one here would be offended by it. I guess it depends on the circumstances.
Ephesians 4:29 says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." What qualifies as unwholesome talk? Do so-called swear words fall under this banner?
I wish I could say I had boundries in my swearing. I know at the very least it's a poor witness. Most of my swearing is done on the freeway, but I'll also drop an f-bomb or two for emphasis in casual conversation among friends and co-workers.
The one thing I won't do is use the Lord's name in vain, although it becomes more and more tempting as the frustrations of life add up. It just feels really unglorifying and it grates on my ears when I hear other people say it.
my current broad thoughts on cussing: "'everything is permissible for me' - but not everything is beneficial. 'everything is permissible for me' - but i will not be mastered by anything" - 1 cor 6:12, and "'everything is permissible' - but not everything is beneficial. 'everything is permissible' - but not everything is constructive" - 1 cor 10:23. i think it's important to look at this topic not as a list of do's and don'ts, rights and wrongs, rules and lists; but through a lens of freedom as believers, keeping in mind that with freedom comes responsibility. pair those 1 corinthians verses with philippians 4:4-8 and a dash of self-control and i think we've got some nice parameters, if you're into that sort of thing.
i've given up trying to draw lines in the sand in regards to Offensive Unallowable Words. because as far as specific words go, someone, somewhere, somehow, is ALWAYS going to be offended. besides, it's not really about letters on a page or the sounds coming out of our mouths. it's the heart and motive behind those letters and sounds. if i say, "you're a damn good guitar player," surely someone will faint at my usage of A Bad Word. but i ask: is this edifying? encouraging? building up?
and then there's always the debate of paul essentially using the word shit [translated "rubbish"]. ah, if only i knew greek.
On the surface, I'd say language is an interesting thing. A groundbreaking statement, I'm sure. But really, I wonder a lot about linguistics, and not in just a fuzzy academic sense.
We suppose that our words do have meanings, because we purposely (in most cases) say specific words to other people in order to communicate specific things or try to arouse specific reactions. So there's a sense where we don't use words arbitrarily, but rather with much precision.
When it comes to who has determined what words mean what, maybe that's what Seth means when he's suggesting there's something arbitrary to cuss words. And I haven't given that much thought. Since much of our language is derived from other languages, I don't know. However, our swear words do seem to be colloquialisms or some kind of slang that has just been invented.
The etymology of "dick," for instance, is just a nickname for "Richard." It's likely that some guy named Richard was just a big jerk and from then on if you were a jerk you were pulling a Richard - or his nickname, Dick.
"Cunt," on the other hand, has roots in Middle English and German pertaining to the female naughty parts. Of course, this is where I've always been inclined to agree with J.Do that the big problem isn't that we've coined a vulgarity from our genitalia, but rather its use is almost always misogynistic. Beyond everything else, I think it cheapens sex. Of course, that seems to be caused by the overkill of sex, but that's something else.
As for "pussy," we find a scrambling etymology from three or four languages trying to convince me that that some of their primitive forms had words like 'puse' or 'pusa' that meant 'pouch' or something like it. No matter, its use today has certainly escaped such meaning.
And overall, the dictionary does label these words as "usually vulgar" before defining them. Whoever wrote the dictionary knew. We know. But how?
If we can figure it out without involving Chomsky, Heidegger, Derrida, and George W. Bush then I'm all for it.
Off to school.
Personally, I like to swear, just not at people. Shit seems to be my favorite - especially when I've just dropped something on my toe or realized a big mistake. But I think mdog really hit on something - having the freedom to say shit is good, but it's not good when I do so in front of certain peole - like children, for example. Sure, they'll learn that word eventually, but I'll leave that to their parents and peers to teach them. The problem then comes when my habit of swearing becomes a reflex response to a situation and I lose control of my ability to edit my words for certain audiences. So, maybe it's better that I yell crap, but I think I'll stick with shit and just hold my tongue when needed.
Cursing? I haven't had a pox placed on my house in, oh, at least a month.
Swearing? Well that's just a really serious promise, right? And everyone is ok with promises. Didn't those four foppish fat guys sing a really sappy wedding song called "I Swear?"
The thing is words are words, but the truth of the matter is sticks and stones may break our bones but words can get you fired and/or sent to sensitivity training. I personally don't have a problem with cursing, but obviously others do. Here's my proposal: you should be allowed to curse/swear as long as you can do it in a funny accent. My personal preference is the Long Island Mobster: "Get outta hea before I smack the shit outta you'se, ya dumb fuck." I even Pesci it up a bit if kids are around so it's less threatening.
As far as what offends me, I don't like when someone is called stupid. That's pretty much my only offensive word, and even then I look at the context. But dumb ass is fine with me.
Oh, and I dare you to find a more versatile word than "fuck." I double dog dare you.
I wouldn't say that "fuck" is versatile at all. I'd say that what makes it seem versatile is that it is over- and inappropriately-used by petty-minded swearers who can't think of anything more creative to say. In most contexts, saying "fuck" is ennui [yawn].
I think "AC" is referring to the familiar bit about "fuck" being used as every part of speech. It's a noun, it's a verb, it's an adjective, it's a breakfast cereal, etc. (Okay, maybe not the last one.) As far as that goes, it actually is pretty versatile. But, as a consequence, it probably is, as you said, overused.
OOh, I think it's an adverb, too! How exciting! -jessi
Well, as an adverb would be pushing it: "He ran f___ingly?"
As far as creativity, I must disagree. Even without George Carlin's assertion to the value of the word, I have to say that "fuck" can be used in some very creative sentences (just stand out in the hall at my high school). As far as it being kin to verbal yawning, I will admit that there is a lazyness involved in using the word, but it certainly lends itself to being an effective form of oral punctuation as well as the most emotionally expressive word in the lexicon.
Also, I want to comment on Seth's comment about how we seem to be more accepting of swear "substitutes." Why are darn, dang, shucks, suffering succatash, sugar honey iced tea, heck, H-E-double hockey sticks, and frick, more acceptable than their counterparts? That is the height of arbitrariness (is that a word? it is now) and hypocracy.
I'll agree with the versatility and overuse of the word fuck. Take a look at this to see what I mean. Don't click unless you're not offended by hearing the word fuck. Also not appropriate to view at work.
That was hilarious. Figures that something that good is from Monty Python. Those dudes were simply the best.
PS: The reason "frick" is more acceptable is--as AC Slater already pointed out--because it doesn't carry the emotional weight that fuck does, but it hints at and borrows from it.
Yeah that's the George Carlin bit, although I've always wondered if that was on one of his albums or what.
So the f-bomb is versatile, but only because people started using it in so many different contexts. They could have just as easily made "apple" into every part of speech possible. For that matter, they could have just as easily made "apple" the bad word. The thing about English is that the parts of speech are so hazy. A noun is only a noun because it behaves like one in a given phrase. An adjective is only an adjective because it does adjectivey things. And how ironic that the word "adjective" is actually a noun.
But as for the connotations, they are societally imposed, like Seth said. Slang and swear words are different in every country, and it doesn't matter what you mean by it, or how or when or where you use it. It's other people's perceptions of the word that make it "unwholesome" to them. If we're sticking to the Biblical guidelines of not letting any unwholesome talk come from our mouths, but only what is helpful for building them up according to their needs, then we really have to know who we're talking to before we let anything iffy come out of our mouths. Anything.
People talk about "taking the Lord's name in vain," meaning actually saying "Jesus Christ" as a swear or saying GD, but isn't claiming to be a Christian while doing blatantly un-Christ-like things the same thing? I know we all sin, so I'm not trying to condemn us all, and I'm certainly not judging (unless I'm also included at the top of the list), but as Christians, we have taken the Lord's name. To take it in vain is to take it without meaning, without sincerity, without letting it affect our actions or our words.
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