I hate my job. It is loathsome and disdainful to me. So desperately do I want to quit, particularly on days like today, when I had a failed early morning program (2 attendees) and then I get to sit here all ever-lovin' day until I do a late night program too. The only good news is that I don't have to be here until 1pm tomorrow. I want to bitch about how much it sucks, but I really just want to scream, and probably cry, except that I'm male, so emotion rarely comes out as crying. Anger and frustration. Anger that this job is so unsupportive and misguided. Frustration that I see no clearer future ahead of me. Both that I make so little money and feel devalued.
We get paid $4000 less than the lowest amount made by other people doing this job in Ohio. I learned that at a conference. And, administrators try to hide that from us by leaving out (or whiting out, in days past) how much money we are supposed to be paid according to the grants we work under. They only give us the grant info that has the outcome numbers in it, none of the budget stuff. So I should say something, right? Maybe if they actually cared or would listen. And people have been doing do for years anyway, from what I hear. And all it gets them is on the Black List.
I hope Aaron is enjoying his day off today.
I have a headache, and I want to go to sleep. I was tempted to lie and call in sick today. And I was tempted to just quit today without notice. But O yeah, I don't have the money to buy groceries until Friday, so I probably shouldn't quit.
3 comments:
sorry, that sucks.
I'm guessing that these "people who have been doing it for years" have been told this? You said, "From what I hear..." It seems to me by the number of people I know who complain about this organization that something needs to be done. Someone needs to rationally say something. My guess is that the wrong people are at the top... or they are having unreasonable demands placed on them.
I agree that the problem is at the top. But the bigger problem for us peons is that we have no recourse - who can we go to? Who can change the system for us and realign the agency's values? The whole thing smacks of local politics to me, and it feels like no one is willing to raise the ruckus necessary. I would go to someone, if I thought there was someone to go to...
patrick: i trust that someday we shall respectively find jobs that do not require a scan of the classifieds every day.
in my twenty-seven years i still have not figured out how people who should not be in management, are in management. blows me away.
hang in there.
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