cha cha cha

I am excited about the game development business. I have loads to do in prep for that happening, and I am slow to do it. I need to learn about business, but I am not a strong reader (it bores me to tears) of educational materials. I wasted hundreds of dollars on text books I never read. Never even opened 'em. Anyway, that seems to be the primary way to self-teach finance and business implementation. A shame, because it means I now have work to do. In fact, I even have an awesome text book about game design, and I'm having a hard time reading it. Or the bible? It's not a part of my habitual life.

How else have I been? I never seem to know how to phrase these answers. I am doing well. I am almost always doing well. But at the same time never doing well. It's in my nature to not be satisfied unless I'm high on endorphins. I like my life. I like to think about serious things. I want my life to have meaning. I guess these are the things most people want, but I feel them very keenly. These days are slipping us by, as you already know, and I want them to mean something. We only get so many days here on earth. I like that thought, but I also don't want to squander it. Life is too enjoyable/experiential/rich/beautiful for that. What is my story going to be, you know? I want it to be simple but inspiring. It doesn't have to be grand (anymore), but I would like it to be full of goodness. Mainly, I don't want to putter through my days anymore. But, it is what comes naturally to me--I am not gifted in broad planning, I am gifted in focusing intently. I feel sometimes (for as much as I do not wish this to be true) that I am a fine tool. I am capable of great works, but I need someone to pick me up and put me to use. To give me direction. I say that I don't want that to be true because I also have some leadership skills--not so much in task management as in people management. I'm interested now in developing these aspects of myself. Which is ironic, given what I just said about needing to be put to use.